What is love & marriage?
I've been building up thick strong walls around me and recruiting loads of defensive 'soldiers' to protect the delicate, fragile me. I can sometimes get rather harsh with people who wanna come through it. I mean no harm but I jus wanna protect myself, preventing myself from being hurt, Again.
I noe i should give others and myself another chance, but I jus cant. Perhaps Im over self-centered, and I am currently pleased with my present lifestyle. I wanted to take my first step out to embrace 'love' once again, but the flashbacks stopped me.
I used to have such wonderful dreams of love & marriage but they were distorted ever since my first special relationship with someone failed. Since then, I stopped myself from weaving dreams, hopes & expectations of Love & Marriage. I dunno whether Im fully out and over with da previous relationship, or is it just me not wanting to give myself another chance. Im clueless.
Others' failed relationships also influenced my perception. Breakups initiated by couples who spent 4 years of loveydovey together. 10years of marriage can jus spilt into bits and pieces jus like this. . . . Divorces are getting TOO COMMON nowadays. It jus make me ponder over the vows of marriages and da complicated term, 'LOVE'.
Sweet promises n vows are just nth. They are said to humour you at dat time. They dun mean wad they said. Im very disappointed at this gloomy love world. People are having extramarital affairs. Patronizing Pros. etc.
Hence, in order to prevent myself from sinking into love depression, i decided to stop myself from jumping into one. And I really am apologetic to those whom I have hurt deeply. I jus wan to protect myself.
*sigh*
Wad a depressing entry.
Ok, I still experience LOVE. and i really cherish da LOVE with my family and friends.
I LOVE U.
not forgetting, my beloved Mimi. :)
I noe i should give others and myself another chance, but I jus cant. Perhaps Im over self-centered, and I am currently pleased with my present lifestyle. I wanted to take my first step out to embrace 'love' once again, but the flashbacks stopped me.
I used to have such wonderful dreams of love & marriage but they were distorted ever since my first special relationship with someone failed. Since then, I stopped myself from weaving dreams, hopes & expectations of Love & Marriage. I dunno whether Im fully out and over with da previous relationship, or is it just me not wanting to give myself another chance. Im clueless.
Others' failed relationships also influenced my perception. Breakups initiated by couples who spent 4 years of loveydovey together. 10years of marriage can jus spilt into bits and pieces jus like this. . . . Divorces are getting TOO COMMON nowadays. It jus make me ponder over the vows of marriages and da complicated term, 'LOVE'.
Sweet promises n vows are just nth. They are said to humour you at dat time. They dun mean wad they said. Im very disappointed at this gloomy love world. People are having extramarital affairs. Patronizing Pros. etc.
Hence, in order to prevent myself from sinking into love depression, i decided to stop myself from jumping into one. And I really am apologetic to those whom I have hurt deeply. I jus wan to protect myself.
*sigh*
Wad a depressing entry.
Ok, I still experience LOVE. and i really cherish da LOVE with my family and friends.
I LOVE U.
not forgetting, my beloved Mimi. :)