Beautiful Wasteland, 027. Parents.
Title: Mother
’Verse/characters: Beautiful Wasteland/Liam, Joshua
Prompt: 027. Parents.
Word Count: 2014
Rating: PG-13
Notes: zip, zilch, and nada.
July 1997
For a vocalist, Liam thinks, Joshua doesn't take very good care of his voice. In fact, and weirdly so, considering how extraordinarily arrogant he is about it, Joshua seems to mistreat his voice. Liam watches from behind his drum kit as Labyrinth's lead singer lights up a cigarette and leans against the Thomas's garage wall, dark hair getting in his eyes. He raises an eyebrow, wonders what's up with him. He was uncharacteristically quiet during this practice session; usually it's impossible to shut the bastard up.
"I've got to go," Connor says, startling Liam out of his thoughts. He is shouldering his guitar case very carefully, as if the movement hurts his newly-healed wrist -- it probably does. "Physio. Josh, give me that assignment and I'll drop it off at Kayne's. See if his parents have ungrounded him while I'm there." He means Joshua's music homework, Liam knows. He's still very much in the stages of learning to read it. He's getting there, slowly, thanks mostly to Connor's forbearance and Kayne's musical genius (although Kayne, if he was here, would probably roll his eyes at that). Liam is far too impatient to offer much more than the occasional trick or tip. Come to think of it, Josh's temper probably had a bit to do with that, too.
Joshua looks up, dubious. "I can probably do it. I've attempted most of it."
"Not the end part, with the progressions and such. Trust me on that one."
"I had trouble with that bit myself," Liam adds. Joshua glares at him, exhales out a cloud of almost-menacing smoke, and Liam stares back, evenly, knowing that it annoys him.
"Come on, you don't want to blow your cover, do you?" The voice of reason, is Connor. "Don't risk it."
"All right, all right," Joshua grumbles, holding his cigarette lightly between his teeth and digging around in his school bag and retrieving the offending sheets of paper with very bad grace. "Just don't make it look too obvious, right?"
Liam thinks it's a testament to Connor's even temper that he doesn't smack Joshua in the nose; that's what he would have done in his place. Uncharacteristically quiet and bad-tempered -- something is definitely up with their vocalist.
That doesn't mean he has the right to be a rude bastard, however.
"We never do," Connor says genially, and waves to Liam. "Catch you both tomorrow in music? Oh no, wait, I'll see you in maths before then, actually, Josh."
"Mhm."
"See you then," Liam says, taking leave of his drumkit and moving across the garage -- their practise room, it has been, for five months, now (much to his father's distaste). "Have fun with the physio."
"Ha!" Connor's wry laughter fades as he leaves the room. The boys hear him wishing Liam's father a good night before the sound of the front door opening and closing.
Liam liberates a can of Coke from the small fridge his father moved out here for the benefit of the band in the beginning of the year. He calls over his shoulder to Joshua, who is still leaning against the wall and creating a minor amount of air pollution. "You want a drink?"
Joshua shakes his head. "No thanks."
Liam closes the fridge door and turns to the vocalist, watching him silently for a few moments. Joshua looks up, annoyed by this. "What?"
"What's wrong with you?"
If Liam expects a scowl or a mouthful of unpleasant language in return, he is surprised. Joshua moves his shoulders in an odd manner, as if he finds his own body ill fitting for a moment, and gazes down at his shoes. He takes a deep drag on his cigarette, and shakes his head.
"Nothing. I'm all right."
"Yeah, and I'm the Queen of England," Liam snorts, walking over to him and taking the cigarette, lifting it to his own lips. This earns him a surprised look.
"I didn't think you smoked."
"Erm, usually I don't. Not nicoteine, anyway." Liam's smile is somewhat sheepish.
Joshua grins. "Kayne," he says, "is a bad influence."
The drummer laughs and hands Joshua back his cigarette. "Tell me something I don't know."
It's odd, he thinks. The dynamic between he and Joshua. He's not entirely sure why he antagonises him (possibly because he makes it so damn easy, sometimes), or vice versa. They've yet to go through one practice session without vocalist or drummer telling either to fuck off, at least once. A couple have even ended in full-blown shouting matches that could probably be heard down in Melbourne, or at least the middle of Brisbane. Their personalities clash like hot and cold air and create storms, Liam's pragmatism meeting Joshua's wild dreams and blowing the place up.
And yet, sometimes, Liam finds himself seriously enjoying Joshua's company. He likes to watch him talk big, laugh loudly, wear his heart on his sleeve. When they agree, Joshua agrees vehemently, and Liam likes that, too. Despite the fact that he spends most of his time annoying the living daylights out of Liam, he gets the feeling that Joshua might even do something silly in theory, like taking a bullet for him.
Liam looks at Joshua carefully; he's returned to staring at his shoes, vague distress emanating from him. Liam doesn't have the patience of Connor or even Kayne to coax whatever's bothering him to the surface, he goes in for the kill.
"Come on, already. What's up?"
Joshua bites his lip, mumbles something.
"Huh?"
"I said, Da's makin' me call my mother," the blue-eyed boy mutters, still not looking up.
"Ah." Liam's vaguely aware that, before coming to Australia, Joshua's parents divorced. But this is a taboo subject with the boy. He never speaks of it, and tends to lose all the colour in his face when forced to. Still, Liam hedges.
"Is that...is it bad?"
"She's a fucking stranger, so I don't even know," Joshua snaps, then deflates and runs free hand over his face. "Sorry. Didn't mean...yeah. It's just...stuff. You...you know?"
"How d'you mean, a stranger?" Liam asks, maybe a touch too sharply.
Joshua's laugh is bleak and not humourous in the slightest. "Stuff happened back home -- back in Glasgow, I mean. She...her personality did a complete 180. It is 180, isn't it?"
"Yep."
"Well, 's what she did. I just...for the past twelve months...I don't know." Joshua moves his shoulders in that strange way again. "She's not who she was."
Liam asks, perhaps a little hesitantly, "Was it...you know, a violent divorce?"
"Ha!" Joshua snorts. "That would've been better than what it was. It was a fucking silent divorce. She said nothing. Da' said he tried to talk to her and all, but...I don't know. Maybe he did. Maybe he didn't, too. I don't think I blame him if he didn't. She was a dead person by the time we left Scotland."
Liam is quiet, turning all this over in his head. Joshua laughs again, this time awkwardly, and runs a hand through his hair self-conciously.
"Sorry about...sorry for. That. I don't...I don't usually talk about...I mean...yes. 'M sorry."
"It's all right," says Liam, honestly. "Can I ask you something, though?"
"Yeah, okay."
"Why's your Dad making you call her, if, you know, it was as...bad as you say it is?"
"Don't even know," the vocalist says, and reaches for Liam's can of Coke. He takes a long swallow before finishing his answer. "She won't call us. Me and Kaylie, I mean. She's not interested in the slightest. I think it might have something to do with, what do you call 'em, custody arrangements, or whatever. Dad towin' the line, and all. Don't see why, as she doesn't want us."
"She doesn't want you?"
"Nope." Joshua's face is utterly expressionless. "I didn't want to come down here when Dad first said he was moving. I had to, 'cause she didn't want me." His voice trembles, slightly, ever so slightly, over those last words, but his face doesn't register any change. "Well, she didn't want, y'know, anyone, really. Wasn't just me. If Kaylie'd asked to stay, probably would've said the same thing. Da' said she was starting a new life. Fuck all of it, I say."
Liam bites back the I'm sorry sitting on the tip of his tongue, knowing that the words will make Joshua recoil faster than a snake if he lets them loose. The other boy sighs, shakes his head, and offers a lop-sided grin. "So, how's your mother?"
Liam pauses. "Dead."
Joshua blinks for a few moments, before flushing and putting his hand up to his face. "Fuckshitdamn, I'm sorry. I forget. I wasn't trying to be an asshole--"
"It's okay, you bloody idiot," Liam says, unable to keep the honest affection from creeping into his voice at the sight of Joshua's embarassment. Funny how that works. "It was a while back, after all."
"You never talk about it," Joshua says. His voice has taken on a strange, soft quality. The drummer feels this soothe the far-away ache still in his heart that still manages to make itself known whenever someone mentions his mother.
"Wasn't much to say, really. It was like, one moment she was here, then she was sick, then she was gone." Liam shrugs. "Pancreatic cancer's supposed to be the fastest moving. She just...got tired. Didn't want to keep going. I don't blame her. I don't think I do, anyway...she must've been in a lot of pain."
Joshua regards him with his trademark blue eyes, but they are full of kindness. Liam's surprised at how gentle Josh can be, at times. He wonders if he knows it.
"What was she like?"
Liam can't help smiling, just a little bit. "Beautiful. Really beautiful. Blonde, blue-eyed."
"You must've taken after her," the vocalist is also smiling. "After all, you don't look a thing like your Dad."
"I did. I sort of wished for a while that I, y'know, wasn't so..." Liam fidgets, embarrassed.
"Pretty!" Joshua laughs, and Liam punches him playfully on the arm. "Well, you are!"
"But yeah, I took after her, looks-wise. Not so much personality-wise. She was...she had the patience of a saint. Never lost her temper. Or maybe she did, but I can't remember. Didn't lose her temper with me, anyway. She used to freak out a lot over little things, though." He pauses. "It...doesn't seem to matter much, now." Joshua just smiles. Liam gazes at him askance, wondering if he's bored or humouring him, but the other boy seems genuinely interested. He keeps talking.
"Things were pretty screwed up when she died. It was only four years ago, but it feels like forever."
"D'you miss her a lot?"
Liam skirts around this question, a little too emotional for his taste. "Only sometimes. What about you? Do you miss your mum?"
Joshua sighs. "...I miss who she used to be. Laughing, funny, short-tempered. All that. I miss that person, not the person she is now. 'Our beautiful Kyla', Da' used to call her. I miss the beautiful Kyla."
"Pretty name."
"Scottish, that. Very Scottish. 'S how she and Da' got my sister's name: mix up the letters in Kyla and you get Kaly. They spelled it a bit differently in the end, though. Heh. Kyla Mulroney, she was, before marrying Da'. What was your mother's name?"
"Ella," Liam answers. "Ella Thomas." He pauses. "The beautiful Ella."
Joshua smiles, and nods. "I bet she was."
"I wish you could've met her."
Joshua's cigarette has turned to ash while they were talking; he walks over to the fridge and smashes it into the ashtray atop it. "Maybe I will, one day."
Liam isn't sure what to say to that, so he just watches as Josh helps himself to a can of Coke.
"You and I," he says, turning back to Liam, "Aren't all that different, are we?"
"In some things," Liam answers, and, as strange as it is, that thought comforts him, for whatever reason.