Well, that was more than a few 'maybe's. That was a whole lot of commitments, and he wasn't sure whether he wanted to fall into them or run screaming from them. Gabriel wasn't the only one scared of commitments like that, mostly because every time he did, he got burnt.
He looked down at the interlocked fingers. maybe he didn't just fall into them, but took it easy... And the first sign he got that he was being played, he could get gone. Back to the glass with his free hand, swallowing the rest of the amber liquid.
Though, what comes out of his mouth isn't an immediate yes. He finds himself sharing something he didn't think he would. At least, not just yet. "The money was never for me; I can get enough for myself hustling. Now I'm... alone, at least. I'm saving it for my brother - he's at college, but I figured that if I gave it to him for his birthday, he'll have a good base for his next year." Because it doesn't matter that he's alone and hates it if Sam's happy. Hopefully, giving him the money will let him see that. Hes pissed at him, he's hurt, but he still cares. "But I couldn't do that and pay for myself, so...." He sighs. "Even without putting your stuff in, I made more for him in a month that I do for myself."
...And he doesn't even know if Sam would even open a card from him. Maybe he's just trying to find out what the reaction is to the knowledge. Maybe he's looking for either understanding, or being told he's being stupid. He doesn't know even why he said it, let alone what he wants from Gabriel in response. Maybe he'll know when he's got it.
A commitment to family. Gabriel could appreciate that more than Dean probably realized. He also understood the underlying tone in his voice. Both loving and hating a brother with everything you had. That about summed up his feelings for everyone in Heaven. He’d love them for the rest of his existence, but he couldn’t be around them. Their mindless devotion to orders, to a Plan that should have been scrapped the moment Dad withdrew into the Garden and started talking to the Gardener. He’d have been smiting brothers left and right until Michael threw him in the Cage right alongside Lucifer.
“I had a feeling. ‘s why I started weaving magic into your clothes. At least you weren’t at the point you were sending those off to the kid.”
His thumb ran along the side of his hand. “I could take you to see him, you know. He wouldn’t even know you were there.”
no. He shouldn't. Because he'll want to drag him back. Or stay with him. But no, Sam wanted the space and to strike out on his own, and Dean couldn't let him do that if he was to go too close. He'll stick to ghosting the campus when he's up they way, so he knows that he won't get too close, keeping an eye out for anything dodgy in the area (so far, thankfully clean) but never getting close enough that he won't be able to walk away.
"Thanks.. but I can't. Just tell me: Is he happy? Safe - well, as you can get, at least?"
“He’s good. Doing good in school, even got a grant to cover his entrance into law school. Kid’s test scores were the scary kind of good so they threw a bag of money at him so he’d stick to Stanford.” Gabriel’s thumb continued to run along the side of Dean’s hand. “He spends a lot of time staring at his phone, y’know.”
He wouldn’t pressure Dean into going, or into even calling him. But Dean needed to at least know that his brother missed him. (which is probably more than he can say for his own brothers, but that’s another story and another bottle of liquor entirely).
“I want you to stay with me tonight, Dean.” And he’ll pay, if that’s what it takes. If Dean is only sitting there because he pays him a ridiculous amount of money, most of which he socks aside for his brother because both of them are too chicken to call each other.
He smiles softly at the news that Sam's doing well. "That's good. Really good." And then he says about him staring at his phone... and it fades, him sighing heavily. "He knows the number when he wants to talk. I'm not part of the world he wants to be in, and I never will be. so I'll just give him space he wants, and when he's ready, he'll call." that, and he couldn't bear it if he called and Sam didn't answer.
Dean looks up sharply at the request, a little surprised. "...sure." He agrees. He's assuming you mean unpaid after all what you've said.. and quite frankly, if you offer him money after telling him he's not just a paid good lay, it's going to smash the tentative base of trust he's laying in agreeing.
Gabriel knows better than that. He won't give Dean money, just protection, affection, everything he might want.
And sooner or later, he's going to have to throw those idiot brothers together if one of them doesn't make the first gesture. They had a chance to make it right, a chance that he lost.
The archangel leaned in, cupping Dean's jaw and kissing him slowly. His eyes are warm with affection and want.
This was stupid. More than stupid. He was falling hard for this hunter, a hunter who was smack in the middle of the Big Plan, whether he liked it or not. Gabriel drew Dean in close against his chest. So he'll risk it. He'll find some way to save Dean, spare him from the machinations of his dick family.
He responds slowly, a little more cautiously than when they'd had previous encounters. Because this time, it's not money but himself that's at stake. His confused mess of feelings. And this right here seems to be something that's going to take away some of the aching lonliness, something he wants more than just a little. He also has come to like... nope, still a little too weird to think Archangel, so his mind supplies 'Gabriel', and he can't deny he wants at least a little.
This was stupid. More than stupid. He hadn't been looking to start something like this.... but he never did do well on his own. And as much as he was wanting to deny it, he did want him. They had much in common, and he'd been charmed by the words that Gabriel had spun him (as much as he'll be telling himself that he's stupid for that later...). Just stop thinking about it, dumbass. He let his head rest on his chest as he had more than a few nights when Gabe had booked full night, thoroughly overthinking not thinking at all.
He can't do this. Can't do this and keep the truth from him. Gabriel wraps his arms around Dean, all but climbing into his lap to keep him close. "There's more. More you need to know, and I need you to understand one thing first, okay? You're important to me. More than anything else in the whole of my existence, you're important to me."
And he lays it all out. The Plan. What his brothers mean to do with him and Sam. That he started this out with the intent of protecting him, keeping him safe from the prying eyes of Heaven. It's terrifying, but he does it anyway. Gives Dean every reason to hate him, to kick his ass and walk away.
Because then he wouldn't have to tell Dean how much he loved him.
During the explanation, he doesn't say one thing, but sits up from where he is slowly, shifting away on the seat slightly. He processes the information silently - hell, it's probably the quietest you've seen him.
There's a thought troubling him. You can tell from the pull of his brow, the way his gaze rises up, steely in nature. "Is that why you came to me in the first place?" And Sam. He needs to go check up on his brother. Needs to make sure they aren't going for him. But he doesn't voice those concerns.
"No. It's the reason I expressly should have avoided you. The reason I should still be avoiding you. I told you why I came to you, kiddo. Because you shine brighter than any mortal I've ever laid eyes on. Because I wanted you for myself." He gives what he hopes is a cavalier shrug.
He goes through another drink and a half quietly, thoughtful look on his face, and the alcohol hitting his empty stomach finally gives him the courage to move a little closer, back to almost touching. "How much?" He breathes, bringing his eyes up to meet Gabriel's. "How much do you want me?"
He looked down at the interlocked fingers. maybe he didn't just fall into them, but took it easy... And the first sign he got that he was being played, he could get gone. Back to the glass with his free hand, swallowing the rest of the amber liquid.
Though, what comes out of his mouth isn't an immediate yes. He finds himself sharing something he didn't think he would. At least, not just yet. "The money was never for me; I can get enough for myself hustling. Now I'm... alone, at least. I'm saving it for my brother - he's at college, but I figured that if I gave it to him for his birthday, he'll have a good base for his next year." Because it doesn't matter that he's alone and hates it if Sam's happy. Hopefully, giving him the money will let him see that. Hes pissed at him, he's hurt, but he still cares. "But I couldn't do that and pay for myself, so...." He sighs. "Even without putting your stuff in, I made more for him in a month that I do for myself."
...And he doesn't even know if Sam would even open a card from him. Maybe he's just trying to find out what the reaction is to the knowledge. Maybe he's looking for either understanding, or being told he's being stupid. He doesn't know even why he said it, let alone what he wants from Gabriel in response. Maybe he'll know when he's got it.
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“I had a feeling. ‘s why I started weaving magic into your clothes. At least you weren’t at the point you were sending those off to the kid.”
His thumb ran along the side of his hand. “I could take you to see him, you know. He wouldn’t even know you were there.”
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no. He shouldn't. Because he'll want to drag him back. Or stay with him. But no, Sam wanted the space and to strike out on his own, and Dean couldn't let him do that if he was to go too close. He'll stick to ghosting the campus when he's up they way, so he knows that he won't get too close, keeping an eye out for anything dodgy in the area (so far, thankfully clean) but never getting close enough that he won't be able to walk away.
"Thanks.. but I can't. Just tell me: Is he happy? Safe - well, as you can get, at least?"
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He wouldn’t pressure Dean into going, or into even calling him. But Dean needed to at least know that his brother missed him. (which is probably more than he can say for his own brothers, but that’s another story and another bottle of liquor entirely).
“I want you to stay with me tonight, Dean.” And he’ll pay, if that’s what it takes. If Dean is only sitting there because he pays him a ridiculous amount of money, most of which he socks aside for his brother because both of them are too chicken to call each other.
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Dean looks up sharply at the request, a little surprised. "...sure." He agrees. He's assuming you mean unpaid after all what you've said.. and quite frankly, if you offer him money after telling him he's not just a paid good lay, it's going to smash the tentative base of trust he's laying in agreeing.
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And sooner or later, he's going to have to throw those idiot brothers together if one of them doesn't make the first gesture. They had a chance to make it right, a chance that he lost.
The archangel leaned in, cupping Dean's jaw and kissing him slowly. His eyes are warm with affection and want.
This was stupid. More than stupid. He was falling hard for this hunter, a hunter who was smack in the middle of the Big Plan, whether he liked it or not. Gabriel drew Dean in close against his chest. So he'll risk it. He'll find some way to save Dean, spare him from the machinations of his dick family.
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This was stupid. More than stupid. He hadn't been looking to start something like this.... but he never did do well on his own. And as much as he was wanting to deny it, he did want him. They had much in common, and he'd been charmed by the words that Gabriel had spun him (as much as he'll be telling himself that he's stupid for that later...). Just stop thinking about it, dumbass. He let his head rest on his chest as he had more than a few nights when Gabe had booked full night, thoroughly overthinking not thinking at all.
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And he lays it all out. The Plan. What his brothers mean to do with him and Sam. That he started this out with the intent of protecting him, keeping him safe from the prying eyes of Heaven. It's terrifying, but he does it anyway. Gives Dean every reason to hate him, to kick his ass and walk away.
Because then he wouldn't have to tell Dean how much he loved him.
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There's a thought troubling him. You can tell from the pull of his brow, the way his gaze rises up, steely in nature. "Is that why you came to me in the first place?" And Sam. He needs to go check up on his brother. Needs to make sure they aren't going for him. But he doesn't voice those concerns.
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"Still do."
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This was insane. "I want you, Dean. Not just for a night here and there. I want you every day."
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