more than good hooks while you're under the gun
This is for Parker, because he sent me a notice saying that I hadn't updated in 31 weeks.
Yesterday was the worst day several years. My girlfriend cried all afternoon about Stetson fucking her living situation for next semester. She then got pulled over in the parking lot of Sage Hall and issued a warning ticket because my front right headlight is out. Fantastic.
In an attempt to replace the headlight, I, at 10pm, went out with my tools to do a man's job. I located what I thought was the main bolt that connected the headlight carriage to the framework. Unfortunately, the bolt had an oddly shaped cap, so I had to unscrew the bolt a 1/4th of a revolution at a time with a pair of pliers. 40 minutes, a beer, and several utterances of the words "fuck this" later, and the bolt still hadn't come out. Turns out that it wasn't the connecting bolt at all, but the fucking headlight adjustment rod. So of course now, when I turn on the brights, my left bright aims properly at the ground while the right light shoots straight out in an attempt to blind any passerby. Asshole. Also turns out that in order to replace the headlight, I have to take the ENTIRE FUCKING FRONT GRILL off my truck. Who fucking designed this vehicle? An autistic child with a penchant for ruining people's evenings? Fuck you dude, wherever you are.
So now I have to take my truck to the dealership or Wal-mart or some other forsaken cesspool and have them fuck me in the ass financially, telling me that not only do they have to replace the light, but also that a tiny unicorn has been jumping up and down and punching holes in my muffler. What's that going to cost? $3000? Oh good, yeah, yeah I was gonna say that I'd like to pay around $3000.
And here's the kicker. Turns out the tool I needed to properly unscrew the headlight adjustment rod... well I had it in my apartment the entire time. Of course, I don't realize this until I've been working away at the thing for almost an hour with a PAIR OF FUCKING PLIERS.
The saying goes that fortune favors the bold. Fortune however, does not particularly favor the idiotic.
Yesterday was the worst day several years. My girlfriend cried all afternoon about Stetson fucking her living situation for next semester. She then got pulled over in the parking lot of Sage Hall and issued a warning ticket because my front right headlight is out. Fantastic.
In an attempt to replace the headlight, I, at 10pm, went out with my tools to do a man's job. I located what I thought was the main bolt that connected the headlight carriage to the framework. Unfortunately, the bolt had an oddly shaped cap, so I had to unscrew the bolt a 1/4th of a revolution at a time with a pair of pliers. 40 minutes, a beer, and several utterances of the words "fuck this" later, and the bolt still hadn't come out. Turns out that it wasn't the connecting bolt at all, but the fucking headlight adjustment rod. So of course now, when I turn on the brights, my left bright aims properly at the ground while the right light shoots straight out in an attempt to blind any passerby. Asshole. Also turns out that in order to replace the headlight, I have to take the ENTIRE FUCKING FRONT GRILL off my truck. Who fucking designed this vehicle? An autistic child with a penchant for ruining people's evenings? Fuck you dude, wherever you are.
So now I have to take my truck to the dealership or Wal-mart or some other forsaken cesspool and have them fuck me in the ass financially, telling me that not only do they have to replace the light, but also that a tiny unicorn has been jumping up and down and punching holes in my muffler. What's that going to cost? $3000? Oh good, yeah, yeah I was gonna say that I'd like to pay around $3000.
And here's the kicker. Turns out the tool I needed to properly unscrew the headlight adjustment rod... well I had it in my apartment the entire time. Of course, I don't realize this until I've been working away at the thing for almost an hour with a PAIR OF FUCKING PLIERS.
The saying goes that fortune favors the bold. Fortune however, does not particularly favor the idiotic.