(no subject)
It takes a lot of willpower to do what I do. I feel like I am against a wall with nowhere to go. Sometimes I lose the faith, but I don't know what else to do. Because if I'm not an artist, then I'm not living.
Sometimes I wonder if it's healthy to have so much of my self-worth tied up into my trade, which is totally not making ANY MONEY and probably won't, ever. But if my car runs out of gas I'll walk, and if my power goes out, I'll use the library. If I have to I'll drink nothing but water, and eat nothing but ramen and beans. Whatever it takes to keep doing what I do, that's what I'm going to do.
I just worry about things like... if I get sick, would I just die in the emergency room from an illness that could have been cured if caught earlier? Would my family be left with the burden if I became hospitalized? Hopefully with the Affordable Healthcare Act going through, less people like me will have to worry about those problems. But I honestly don't know even if then, if I won't just be a burden on my family and society as a whole.
Just seeing how much money it costs for Mike's dad to recover from this illness, it makes me wonder if anyone in the world is really safe from the economic failings of our system. And does any system humans have created work? Mike's dad is fully insured, he is applicable for medicare/medicaid, and he has hundreds of thousands of dollars in savings. Even still, they say that he will be paying an amount that makes them worry about their home, their retirement, and everything they've acquired.
But that's even more reason that really, throwing the dice is just a valid move as any other. We're all making a bet when we invest in anything. At least if I invest in my own talent, I can rest assured any failure will be my own fault.
Anyway. Things are rough lately if you didn't infer that from my recent postings.
Sometimes I wonder if it's healthy to have so much of my self-worth tied up into my trade, which is totally not making ANY MONEY and probably won't, ever. But if my car runs out of gas I'll walk, and if my power goes out, I'll use the library. If I have to I'll drink nothing but water, and eat nothing but ramen and beans. Whatever it takes to keep doing what I do, that's what I'm going to do.
I just worry about things like... if I get sick, would I just die in the emergency room from an illness that could have been cured if caught earlier? Would my family be left with the burden if I became hospitalized? Hopefully with the Affordable Healthcare Act going through, less people like me will have to worry about those problems. But I honestly don't know even if then, if I won't just be a burden on my family and society as a whole.
Just seeing how much money it costs for Mike's dad to recover from this illness, it makes me wonder if anyone in the world is really safe from the economic failings of our system. And does any system humans have created work? Mike's dad is fully insured, he is applicable for medicare/medicaid, and he has hundreds of thousands of dollars in savings. Even still, they say that he will be paying an amount that makes them worry about their home, their retirement, and everything they've acquired.
But that's even more reason that really, throwing the dice is just a valid move as any other. We're all making a bet when we invest in anything. At least if I invest in my own talent, I can rest assured any failure will be my own fault.
Anyway. Things are rough lately if you didn't infer that from my recent postings.