It's pathetic..
how we can't live with the things we can't understand. How we need everything labeled and explained and deconstructed.
Truely.
Unrelated, because I don't have the energy or real desire to get into that, the passed week I have slept probably a total of 9 hours. Sometimes I really would rather be awake than sleeping, but its different. I couldn't stop my mind from racing thoughts. My body was tired, but my mind - wide awake.
I just could not sleep. Today I felt it. The effects of no sleep and 9 hour shifts. No sleep, and 8 hour shifts. I was dizzy, nauseas, my body was sore. My eyes heavy and itchy. I felt a little less worse than I did the day after I woke up, after being hit by car. The speeding geezer, that has forever fucked up my knee and my joy of running. I don't have the energy to workout.
My heart has been beating unusually fast as of late. I wake up sweating. I've been having anxiety attacks, or at least thats what I think they are. They're unfamiliar to me..almost like I'm supposed to be doing something or worrying about something, but I'm not sure what, but i'm SURE it' NOTHING. I'm not one to be like that. It's immensly annoying. I know i'm not alone, but I really don't like going to the doctor. I avoid it, but for this, I don't know if I really should. Steve says my heart was shaking the bed. After that he asked me if i was on speed or something followed by a snorting giggle.<3
I didn't think was going to make it through work today without passing out and/or vomitting all over, but I did. Came home and washed off the thought of tooth dust and blood off of my body. I fell asleep with a towel wrapped around my head. I had a weird dream. (my dreams are always freakishly weird, but they've turned into nightmares) I woke up, even more nauseated, stiff necked( wet hair?) and aggitated, than I was before. I took 3 excedrine, (which I rarely do) ate some food that Steven brought me and I felt %90 better. I feel asleep for another 7 hours. Its 5:52 am.
The next time I am having my next bout of insomnia[if ever], I will now have this one's date recorded here. Maybe I'll figure this out. This weird cycle has to end. Back to sleep I go.
Truely.
Unrelated, because I don't have the energy or real desire to get into that, the passed week I have slept probably a total of 9 hours. Sometimes I really would rather be awake than sleeping, but its different. I couldn't stop my mind from racing thoughts. My body was tired, but my mind - wide awake.
I just could not sleep. Today I felt it. The effects of no sleep and 9 hour shifts. No sleep, and 8 hour shifts. I was dizzy, nauseas, my body was sore. My eyes heavy and itchy. I felt a little less worse than I did the day after I woke up, after being hit by car. The speeding geezer, that has forever fucked up my knee and my joy of running. I don't have the energy to workout.
My heart has been beating unusually fast as of late. I wake up sweating. I've been having anxiety attacks, or at least thats what I think they are. They're unfamiliar to me..almost like I'm supposed to be doing something or worrying about something, but I'm not sure what, but i'm SURE it' NOTHING. I'm not one to be like that. It's immensly annoying. I know i'm not alone, but I really don't like going to the doctor. I avoid it, but for this, I don't know if I really should. Steve says my heart was shaking the bed. After that he asked me if i was on speed or something followed by a snorting giggle.<3
I didn't think was going to make it through work today without passing out and/or vomitting all over, but I did. Came home and washed off the thought of tooth dust and blood off of my body. I fell asleep with a towel wrapped around my head. I had a weird dream. (my dreams are always freakishly weird, but they've turned into nightmares) I woke up, even more nauseated, stiff necked( wet hair?) and aggitated, than I was before. I took 3 excedrine, (which I rarely do) ate some food that Steven brought me and I felt %90 better. I feel asleep for another 7 hours. Its 5:52 am.
The next time I am having my next bout of insomnia[if ever], I will now have this one's date recorded here. Maybe I'll figure this out. This weird cycle has to end. Back to sleep I go.