Hiyaaaaa
I just need to talk out everything, I dunno
It's not even like, an "I need someone to talk to about my feelings blah blah" kinda thing, it's like I'M SO BORED HERE THAT I'M EXPLODING AND I NEED TO TELL THE WORLD ABOUT MY LIFE.
(￣□￣;)
I have all this chemistry homework and a definition paper to write for tonight. I've already started the paper, I chose the word "paradise" and I'm writing about Eden and how the definition is "supreme bliss" and bliss is different to everyone, which is why there are so many ideas of paradise and stuff. This is an easy paper, but I really just fucking hate english. I hate writing papers and arguing shit that doesn't matter to me. Yeah, I know, I need to develop my writing skills so that I have the ability to argue for something that matters when it comes along, all that bullshit, but I really just don't care, lol. Work. Not into it. And Chem, it's easier than last semester cuz I can actually fucking stay awake now and I have a better teacher, but I have a test on Friday and I feel a little overwhelmed. Thursday night labs are so inconvenient because I have a bio quiz AND my test, and now I'm gonna have to study in between 12-4. Well, I guess that's better than having no time at all to study, huh? ☆
Japanese is going great, though. This whole class is basically like a big review/clarification sesh. I'm the best in the class, haha (=^▽^=)
[not kidding, really]
I got a lot of good ideas at work today. That happens a lot when I'm on register. I use these little scraps of paper to write things down. I lose them half the time, but today got me really motivated ♪ At least, I thought of some things to take my mind off the fact that I'm intensely craving summer. Summmmeerrrr... Jesus, I just want the beauty of summer. It's not even that we don't have school, it's just that summer is so positive. Snow is pretty the first time, but then it's just so fucking dreary and depressing and boring. It makes me want to go outside and wear a sundress and be pretty and everything that goes along with summer, but I just CAN'T. I guess snow makes me appreciate summer more, but I just feel like... I could do with a little less...
If I'm rich when I grow up, I'm gonna take a trip to somewhere summery every winter. It was so amazing when I got to go to Las Vegas in the winter because my dad lived there. And I want to go back to Hawaii in the future, definitely. I've been thinking about the future a lot recently, too. And not even mostly the way far ahead future, but just the next couple of years. This girl was on register with me for a while today [I forget her name, sorry (／Д＼;)], and she's a sophomore and SHE'S GETTING HER OWN APARTMENT WITH HER BOYFRIEND IN MAY. WHAT!!?!?!? I want that kind of independence! It really made me think about working more, saving more money so I can set off as stable as I can when it comes time. I guess... I just didn't realize that I'm on my own now and I really can do anything I want. I mean, I know people getting married, now getting apartments, like... Whoa. I dunno. I just wasn't thinking about ANY of this before I went to college. I need more money to do the things that are turning out to be important to me.
Like...
...Baking. Jesus fucking christ. I need to cook. I need to make SOMETHING. It's not even that the food here is bad, because it's not, I'm just so used to fending for myself that I'm going CRAZY without a kitchen. And I want to see if decorating is something I could really enjoy so badly, but I just can't here (;~;) Which is why I'm pushing so hard to find a class to take over the summer. URghskfhksj just some things here are starting to drive me crazy. The pros and cons of college. I just can't get ANYWHERE without a car, and even if I had my car, I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF NO-FUCKING-WHERE! I want to get out and take a walk in the sunshine and go out to dinner and go shopping and go see someone I know and there's just NOTHING. I mean, I like the small class sizes at gburg and the athletic center and i have some friends, but i do notice the things i don't have. I feel like I would've done really well in a more cityish school, but how was i supposed to know that before i actually experienced it? how was I supposed to know anything? Hmmmmph, it's a difficult situation. But for now, unless I really can't stand it, I'm gonna stick with here cuz I'm already here. Lol. I already have a job and good financial aid and i'm already on the health sciences/japanese track [even though absolutely everyone in my japanese class is weird as fuck... like, OUT THERE; i hate them all. Excpt for Ben Zebpnick.], I know people and I know how to get home now. [shrug] I think it'll get better. And if not, it's not like I can't still transfer.
I really wanted to see my dad this weekend. I miss him so much. It wasn't under good circumstances though, so I can't. I won't get to see him until april, and that's kind of depressing, cuz I really, really miss him. I love my daddy so much. I want to see my puppy and hang out on the couch and help out with daddy's cafe. And I tried to buy a really meaningful card for my mom today, just because I miss her, too, but they all said happy birthday on them and it was fucking depressing.
Okay. That's a lot about my life. Maybe more later.
Peeaace
It's not even like, an "I need someone to talk to about my feelings blah blah" kinda thing, it's like I'M SO BORED HERE THAT I'M EXPLODING AND I NEED TO TELL THE WORLD ABOUT MY LIFE.
(￣□￣;)
I have all this chemistry homework and a definition paper to write for tonight. I've already started the paper, I chose the word "paradise" and I'm writing about Eden and how the definition is "supreme bliss" and bliss is different to everyone, which is why there are so many ideas of paradise and stuff. This is an easy paper, but I really just fucking hate english. I hate writing papers and arguing shit that doesn't matter to me. Yeah, I know, I need to develop my writing skills so that I have the ability to argue for something that matters when it comes along, all that bullshit, but I really just don't care, lol. Work. Not into it. And Chem, it's easier than last semester cuz I can actually fucking stay awake now and I have a better teacher, but I have a test on Friday and I feel a little overwhelmed. Thursday night labs are so inconvenient because I have a bio quiz AND my test, and now I'm gonna have to study in between 12-4. Well, I guess that's better than having no time at all to study, huh? ☆
Japanese is going great, though. This whole class is basically like a big review/clarification sesh. I'm the best in the class, haha (=^▽^=)
[not kidding, really]
I got a lot of good ideas at work today. That happens a lot when I'm on register. I use these little scraps of paper to write things down. I lose them half the time, but today got me really motivated ♪ At least, I thought of some things to take my mind off the fact that I'm intensely craving summer. Summmmeerrrr... Jesus, I just want the beauty of summer. It's not even that we don't have school, it's just that summer is so positive. Snow is pretty the first time, but then it's just so fucking dreary and depressing and boring. It makes me want to go outside and wear a sundress and be pretty and everything that goes along with summer, but I just CAN'T. I guess snow makes me appreciate summer more, but I just feel like... I could do with a little less...
If I'm rich when I grow up, I'm gonna take a trip to somewhere summery every winter. It was so amazing when I got to go to Las Vegas in the winter because my dad lived there. And I want to go back to Hawaii in the future, definitely. I've been thinking about the future a lot recently, too. And not even mostly the way far ahead future, but just the next couple of years. This girl was on register with me for a while today [I forget her name, sorry (／Д＼;)], and she's a sophomore and SHE'S GETTING HER OWN APARTMENT WITH HER BOYFRIEND IN MAY. WHAT!!?!?!? I want that kind of independence! It really made me think about working more, saving more money so I can set off as stable as I can when it comes time. I guess... I just didn't realize that I'm on my own now and I really can do anything I want. I mean, I know people getting married, now getting apartments, like... Whoa. I dunno. I just wasn't thinking about ANY of this before I went to college. I need more money to do the things that are turning out to be important to me.
Like...
...Baking. Jesus fucking christ. I need to cook. I need to make SOMETHING. It's not even that the food here is bad, because it's not, I'm just so used to fending for myself that I'm going CRAZY without a kitchen. And I want to see if decorating is something I could really enjoy so badly, but I just can't here (;~;) Which is why I'm pushing so hard to find a class to take over the summer. URghskfhksj just some things here are starting to drive me crazy. The pros and cons of college. I just can't get ANYWHERE without a car, and even if I had my car, I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF NO-FUCKING-WHERE! I want to get out and take a walk in the sunshine and go out to dinner and go shopping and go see someone I know and there's just NOTHING. I mean, I like the small class sizes at gburg and the athletic center and i have some friends, but i do notice the things i don't have. I feel like I would've done really well in a more cityish school, but how was i supposed to know that before i actually experienced it? how was I supposed to know anything? Hmmmmph, it's a difficult situation. But for now, unless I really can't stand it, I'm gonna stick with here cuz I'm already here. Lol. I already have a job and good financial aid and i'm already on the health sciences/japanese track [even though absolutely everyone in my japanese class is weird as fuck... like, OUT THERE; i hate them all. Excpt for Ben Zebpnick.], I know people and I know how to get home now. [shrug] I think it'll get better. And if not, it's not like I can't still transfer.
I really wanted to see my dad this weekend. I miss him so much. It wasn't under good circumstances though, so I can't. I won't get to see him until april, and that's kind of depressing, cuz I really, really miss him. I love my daddy so much. I want to see my puppy and hang out on the couch and help out with daddy's cafe. And I tried to buy a really meaningful card for my mom today, just because I miss her, too, but they all said happy birthday on them and it was fucking depressing.
Okay. That's a lot about my life. Maybe more later.
Peeaace