Heartbreak
Does anyone know what its like to give up so much for someone only to find you thought they did too but now doubt them? I knew something was coming when I logged onto MSN yesterday and Kris' name was "inside I realized I'm the one confused" and his profile was updated that day ---> not including me, only his friends and his diplay pic was of his friends at the party ne brought me home early from: how was it not obvious then? I didn't have a clue.
I mean, I feel so stupid that it just ended like that. He calls me up when I get home with no sweetie or I love you....I knew. Then later ---> not even in person ---? he tells me he wants a break, as in break up but he doesnt wan tto entirely let go? How does that work after 9 months? And then I get the reason..wait! reasons?:
1) I dont want a serious relationship ---> like was the hell is 9 months?
2) I need more time for school ---> ok that's understandable
3) he wants to spend time with his friends ---> well no shit he'd wanted this since the beginning of the summer...way to lead me on with all that "you come before my friends and family" shit then I knew later when he said I came after fishing something was wrong ---> I just feel dumb for actually putting him before my friends and family
4) Lastly he wants to date casually ---> does this mean Matt was rightwiththat cheating story? he prolly has a chick all lined up already, he's not slow.
So how am I supposed to feel about this? I know I should want him back but why would I want someone who hurt me like that? Ha, my mind just wants him to call up and say he was irrational, didn't mean it and gave it no thought....so that means I haven't let go...but I also want this freedom but that doesn't mean I wouldn't give it up for him again....makes no sense I know. Well, I hope I don't get all depressed (ya right) I need to keep busy and definately havethat sleepover with Margaret....off th be. If you're a guy reading this give me a call! jks ~Robyn
Just a few spur of the moment post break up thoughts:
Im dying inside
all my memories black and white
reruns playing soundless screams
tears drip like paint; never ending waterfall
more screaming and I hear the pitch rise
blood in my head hot with rage
puzzle peices float by
Free as a bird but scared to leave
The nest, my confort is what i want
Cold lonely alone
those tears are taking over
Cracking from my chest
the pain never ending
Perpetual
its not done, incomplete but hey thats all so far
I mean, I feel so stupid that it just ended like that. He calls me up when I get home with no sweetie or I love you....I knew. Then later ---> not even in person ---? he tells me he wants a break, as in break up but he doesnt wan tto entirely let go? How does that work after 9 months? And then I get the reason..wait! reasons?:
1) I dont want a serious relationship ---> like was the hell is 9 months?
2) I need more time for school ---> ok that's understandable
3) he wants to spend time with his friends ---> well no shit he'd wanted this since the beginning of the summer...way to lead me on with all that "you come before my friends and family" shit then I knew later when he said I came after fishing something was wrong ---> I just feel dumb for actually putting him before my friends and family
4) Lastly he wants to date casually ---> does this mean Matt was rightwiththat cheating story? he prolly has a chick all lined up already, he's not slow.
So how am I supposed to feel about this? I know I should want him back but why would I want someone who hurt me like that? Ha, my mind just wants him to call up and say he was irrational, didn't mean it and gave it no thought....so that means I haven't let go...but I also want this freedom but that doesn't mean I wouldn't give it up for him again....makes no sense I know. Well, I hope I don't get all depressed (ya right) I need to keep busy and definately havethat sleepover with Margaret....off th be. If you're a guy reading this give me a call! jks ~Robyn
Just a few spur of the moment post break up thoughts:
Im dying inside
all my memories black and white
reruns playing soundless screams
tears drip like paint; never ending waterfall
more screaming and I hear the pitch rise
blood in my head hot with rage
puzzle peices float by
Free as a bird but scared to leave
The nest, my confort is what i want
Cold lonely alone
those tears are taking over
Cracking from my chest
the pain never ending
Perpetual
its not done, incomplete but hey thats all so far