(no subject)
where has this year gone?
it's already been a whole year without you. the days have seemed to pass without me noticing. it's all just been a blur, nothing really big has changed. yeah i've had a few firsts and experienced some new things, but i'm still me. and i still miss you. i always will.
it still hurts to think that i'll never see that smile again, or hear that voice. and you'll never get the chance to live out your dream of being a father, and i ache just imagining how good of a father you would have been. you had so much love to give. and i wanted it and needed it.
i've spent this last year trying to forget you, as bad as that sounds. it was always easier to just forget how much you meant to me, and the fact that i lost you without ever telling you that. i'm sorry. i'm sorry i haven't visited you, but i still haven't fully comprehended the fact that youre gone, forever. it hurts.
i need you so much right now. i'm so confused on where to go, what to do. i just cant seem to get up enough motivation to get my act together and make decisions, and i don't know why. i just keep screwing up things, and i need help but i have no one that can really help me. i feel alone. i am alone.
i miss you, ryan.
please just help my next year without you be a better one.
change is going to have to happen, and real soon.
it's already been a whole year without you. the days have seemed to pass without me noticing. it's all just been a blur, nothing really big has changed. yeah i've had a few firsts and experienced some new things, but i'm still me. and i still miss you. i always will.
it still hurts to think that i'll never see that smile again, or hear that voice. and you'll never get the chance to live out your dream of being a father, and i ache just imagining how good of a father you would have been. you had so much love to give. and i wanted it and needed it.
i've spent this last year trying to forget you, as bad as that sounds. it was always easier to just forget how much you meant to me, and the fact that i lost you without ever telling you that. i'm sorry. i'm sorry i haven't visited you, but i still haven't fully comprehended the fact that youre gone, forever. it hurts.
i need you so much right now. i'm so confused on where to go, what to do. i just cant seem to get up enough motivation to get my act together and make decisions, and i don't know why. i just keep screwing up things, and i need help but i have no one that can really help me. i feel alone. i am alone.
i miss you, ryan.
please just help my next year without you be a better one.
change is going to have to happen, and real soon.