if your gunna rip my heart out ; could you use a knife thats dull
its crazy
& the world just k e e p s on spinning.
its chaotic
& its not even mine anymore
I had an amazing middle to an upsetting day. & finals sucked. I probally got like a b on both of them, they wernt too hard. I was pretty happy with that. The back is hurting as usual, so it was kinda hard for me to take them, but I managed. (of course) mmmm hanging out with people later rocked. (dust..haha) It really just gave me a chance to let loose and have a litlte fun. the movie was good too.
Dance made me think alot. It's my last dance class this year. It was hard to dance. I remember still my first dance class this year. and my first impressions of everyone, I still wonder what were their first impressions of me. All those impressions have changed and I have met some of the most wonderful people who have really touched me so much. Some of my realitonships thru this year at dance have gotten weaker then in the beginning. But over all there are certain indivual people who have really made things rock at times. Everyone cared about me, and it was genunie. Not pitty. Dance-wise this year has flown by so fast. The people I have met I cant live without.
Today we got this sheet, where everyone gave you complements about what they thought of you. People on mine said the usual, outgoing, good turns, loud, funny, party animal, and the always happy was thrown in there. I was suprised by this, Even though I hold a tough exterrior all the time, dance especially I figure most people can see right thru me? but I guess I was wrong. It could of always been a younger kid who wrote that, or a kid that has no idea who I am or barly knows me (since its anymounus) It just strikes me as werid that somebody would say that judging by all the mixed emotions I have been going thru lately, which I would hate to say usually arent happy.
Sure I smile, laugh, and I do enjoy myself and my time with my friends. But my life doesnt even feel like it belongs to me anymore. Its been taken over my this unmoveable force, that wants to controll my every thought and emotion, and turn me upside down and then rightside up all in a matter of minutes. I am very proud . For I have been keeping almost everything to myself, but I kinda hate that. There are some people I wish I could talk to. Or I wish would listen, and theres people who are constanly there for me. But no matter what, sometimes I know I can be a burden, or people just think I am werid. Its like me having all these emotions are werid. But I dont think so , judging by my situation. I dont think so at all.
two more days of school = summer <3 my escape. Last years summer, is what made me surivive this year. I live outside my house,and I love every second of it. & I could really be writing forever. And this entry is public, I dont like writing anything personal at all in them, and ill start too, if I didnt aready. So I guess I am going to mabye study for math? probally not though.
comment. Sometimes it makes peoples day. Especially when people write these long entries and then get no responces, that really sucks. you can have a hug if you comment. haha.
.