(no subject)
I've been feeling this way for a long damn time. But after reading http://turnaway.comicgenesis.com/ and http://ikuzeaibou.livejournal.com/tag/longfic%3A%20reach%20out
I don't want to be Adachi anymore. Goddamn those two are beautiful stories. Love is painful and it has hurt me so much, and yes, it's been my fault. I've given up. Seeing Yosuke not giving up is incredible. It's inspiring and ... Always I've played RPGs and scoffed at the unbreakable friendships, because mine have always fallen apart.
Do I want to live that way? It's misery and it's selfish. I want to give like Yosuke gives. This pairing didn't mean anything to me until now, but I'm certainly going to read this again.
Geez, I don't even have an icon of either Souji or Yosuke on this account. And Yu is a stupid name! Screw you, re-naming the character for the anime. I can't fathom why they didn't keep Seta Souji seeing as everyone calls him that.
Yosuke was knocked down again and again...but he kept getting up. I've been hit hard. There were so many nights when I was in terrible pain because of how badly I wanted to be with someone, but was rejected.
I'll be rejected again, and I'll be in pain again. But I'm in pain now - in this state of having given up. There has to be something more that I can do. I don't know where to start. I don't have a Souji to chase after. But I can't stand this stagnation anymore.