it's been a hell of a month or so
well, how do i begin the entry of lifetime? do i skip the details and jump right in or do i mope around and half say everything i need to? i'm pretty sure this entry will piss at least 1 person off and bring a bit of happiness and understanding to like 3 people. so since i know the outcome i might as well just cut to the chase and be brutally honest about all of it.
on december 17th i left for texas with karina. i would spend the 17th through the 20th with my grandparents. everything there went exactly to plan and i had the time of my life with my grandparents. yeh they did spoil me but that's not why i had a blast. i walked in the ocean and played with birds and just everyday was a blast. we did things that people only dream about. it's so beautiful down there. i didn't want to leave. i just wanted to stay and be with them forever. it's a whole different world down there. it's like the perfect world. all the people are so nice, the food is great, my grandparents were the best like always but it all seemed to end to fast. tuesday i was suppose to go back up to houston to spend a few days with karina and that went exactly to plan except for the fact that i cried for like 3 hours and both my grandparents cried. to be leaving them was the worst feeling ever but i am going back next year.
so i got to houston and everything went to plan. i finally found karina and her dad and step mom and we ran some errands and then went back to their house. the first day and part of the second were great. we were best friends and we acted like it but then everything changed. i never ever wanted to go home so bad before in my life. i guess it was a number of things, karina and jeff fighting on the phone for hours, me being depressed about my grandparents, both of us wanting to go home to the regular normal things, and just the tension of us being so close for so long. by no means am i saying it was all karina's fault but things got ugly. we stopped getting along and started wanting to have nothing to do with each other. at some points things were ok but most of the time we stayed away from each other. the week ended on a pretty ok note. we were ok getting home and we were both relieved. we didn't really talk much after we got home and i think the last time we really saw each other was on new year's eve. i don't think that we are really best friends any more. to be honest, i think that trip ruined us as friends. we really see the truth in each other and it is hard to accept it. i dunno if it's me or if it's her but we just haven't given each other a chance to change wat happened in those few days. there are so many things i'd like to do different but the past is past and that's how it'll stay if i have anything to say about it. the most we could do is just put it down as lesson #1 for each other and go back to the way things use to be but i doubt that will happen. right now things are just too hard. too complicated in both our lives.
this week hasn't really been the best week ever either. monday was too short and then again too long. after work i decided to go to walmart where i found some makeup that i wanted. one problem, didn't have any money. so me being a thinker, i thought out a plan to steal it and that was the stupidest thing i've ever done. i've never stole anything before and i shouldn't have started. when i thought i was home free with the make up, these two guys came up to me and took me in. they knew i had stolen something. bad idea from the beginning. i shouldn't have done it. one thing after another and i was hand cuffed in the back of a police car on my way to the station. my mom came and got me and then i had to tell my dad. all of this over some stupid makeup. stupid stupid stupid. so the next morning i went to see a probabtion officer and he said the state attorney can do one of 3 things, she can drop the charges, make me be on probation for 6 months to a year, or press charges. he said it would most likely be #1 or #2, but most likely #2. so after all that, i am grounded from going anywhere except school, work, my dad's, and school activities till april 1. this sucks. im so stupid.
after all that on wednesday i had a field trip which ended up being boring and sucking really bad and the thursday i woke up sick. i was really sick yesterday and still alittle sick today. i hate my life right now. the only real good thing about all this is the fact that i think i bought a prom dress. yay!
well, i think thats's about it. oh wait. emily and me have been spending a lot of time together. i think it's good for me. it keeps my mind off the bad stuff right now. thank you emily.
that's all. maybe i'll post again in a month or two. ;)
on december 17th i left for texas with karina. i would spend the 17th through the 20th with my grandparents. everything there went exactly to plan and i had the time of my life with my grandparents. yeh they did spoil me but that's not why i had a blast. i walked in the ocean and played with birds and just everyday was a blast. we did things that people only dream about. it's so beautiful down there. i didn't want to leave. i just wanted to stay and be with them forever. it's a whole different world down there. it's like the perfect world. all the people are so nice, the food is great, my grandparents were the best like always but it all seemed to end to fast. tuesday i was suppose to go back up to houston to spend a few days with karina and that went exactly to plan except for the fact that i cried for like 3 hours and both my grandparents cried. to be leaving them was the worst feeling ever but i am going back next year.
so i got to houston and everything went to plan. i finally found karina and her dad and step mom and we ran some errands and then went back to their house. the first day and part of the second were great. we were best friends and we acted like it but then everything changed. i never ever wanted to go home so bad before in my life. i guess it was a number of things, karina and jeff fighting on the phone for hours, me being depressed about my grandparents, both of us wanting to go home to the regular normal things, and just the tension of us being so close for so long. by no means am i saying it was all karina's fault but things got ugly. we stopped getting along and started wanting to have nothing to do with each other. at some points things were ok but most of the time we stayed away from each other. the week ended on a pretty ok note. we were ok getting home and we were both relieved. we didn't really talk much after we got home and i think the last time we really saw each other was on new year's eve. i don't think that we are really best friends any more. to be honest, i think that trip ruined us as friends. we really see the truth in each other and it is hard to accept it. i dunno if it's me or if it's her but we just haven't given each other a chance to change wat happened in those few days. there are so many things i'd like to do different but the past is past and that's how it'll stay if i have anything to say about it. the most we could do is just put it down as lesson #1 for each other and go back to the way things use to be but i doubt that will happen. right now things are just too hard. too complicated in both our lives.
this week hasn't really been the best week ever either. monday was too short and then again too long. after work i decided to go to walmart where i found some makeup that i wanted. one problem, didn't have any money. so me being a thinker, i thought out a plan to steal it and that was the stupidest thing i've ever done. i've never stole anything before and i shouldn't have started. when i thought i was home free with the make up, these two guys came up to me and took me in. they knew i had stolen something. bad idea from the beginning. i shouldn't have done it. one thing after another and i was hand cuffed in the back of a police car on my way to the station. my mom came and got me and then i had to tell my dad. all of this over some stupid makeup. stupid stupid stupid. so the next morning i went to see a probabtion officer and he said the state attorney can do one of 3 things, she can drop the charges, make me be on probation for 6 months to a year, or press charges. he said it would most likely be #1 or #2, but most likely #2. so after all that, i am grounded from going anywhere except school, work, my dad's, and school activities till april 1. this sucks. im so stupid.
after all that on wednesday i had a field trip which ended up being boring and sucking really bad and the thursday i woke up sick. i was really sick yesterday and still alittle sick today. i hate my life right now. the only real good thing about all this is the fact that i think i bought a prom dress. yay!
well, i think thats's about it. oh wait. emily and me have been spending a lot of time together. i think it's good for me. it keeps my mind off the bad stuff right now. thank you emily.
that's all. maybe i'll post again in a month or two. ;)