GET OUT RIGHT NOW, ITS THE END OF YOU AND ME..
so we got into a fight today..
im so upset.
i have so many things running through my head right now.
he has been talking to, or trying to talk to, another girl while we were talking. hes always told me the opposite, what he would call the truth. but i spoke to this girl today and she told me all i needed to here, the opposite of what jason tells me (and of course she has no reason to lie to me).
i confronted him about this issue we've been having and of course he denied it. i want so much to believe everything he says, but boys lie. i know for a fact that all of this shit is true. the least he could do is have the balls to tell me str8 up.
i actually have feelings for this kid. i let him slip into my heart. it hurts me so much to cut things off and walk away (and i honestly think it hurts him as well). i know he has a good heart and his intentions are not to hurt anyone... but he makes too many messy mistakes. he needs to learn how to sort out his priotities properly (expecially before he gets involved with another girl).
i care about him, and i know you probably wanna smack me for saying it but its the truth, and i want the best for him. our situation is not the best for either of us. it just hurts so much to have to be put through all of this again. i wish.. i wish i could just find someone devoted from the start.. someone that doesnt have to make up excuses for things. there shouldnt be problems to handle.. (like this one).
im going to miss him. im kind of hoping he wouldnt mind still being friends. hes a good guy, but apparently not a good guy to date. if not, ill get over it..
maybe im just not one for relationships.. i think i need to be on my own. theres just so many things i luved about him and what we had... (the way he held me, the way he kissed me, the way he looked at me -which is probly the way he looks at other girls- how he made me smile, how safe he made me feel, how he opened my doors, the things he said that made me feel so good..). but its done now.. i have to get over it. lord just give me strength and help me learn for next time.
i always learn my lessons the hard way. this is one of those times that kills me, but helps me see. *sigh*
well thats all i can write right now, mabey ill add more later.
<3 xoxo .. i luv you
p.s.
tiff, kathy + ryan, thanks for EVERYHTING! im so sorry for not listening at 1st, but i did eventually. i just ask for your support in staying strong. I LUV YOU. <3 xo
its all about the "he said, she said.. BULLSHIT"