oops.
that book "the fuck-up"? yeah, that's named after me.
man, that whole three good things, followed by one really bad thing that erases the good things really hit home this time. an odd part though; on the absolutely the worst night of my life, right after fate threw me the last kick in the balls that topped it all off, it storms as though all hell was breaking loose. i stood in the middle of the road, getting soaked, watching the the sky. i don't know why but right then, it seemed so fitting i couldn't stop laughing. i just sat there like the fucking idiot i am and laughed until i cried.
i've made a plan. eric, you're gonna be pissed so i just suggest you stop reading now. i'm not going to school this year my because my stepdad was thrown in prison and isn't getting out and unless me and dorin both work, my brother and sister will end up in an adoption agency or something like that, which in turn means i have to move back home. so i'm gonna work my ass off (i started earlier today; a eleven hour day) and try to help provide for my family because there's no one else to. i'm gonna get my GED and save up any money i can until i'm eighteen in eight months. then i'm gonna get a license so i can drive the car i got today (a blue achieva) and then maybe take bartending classes to try and do that since they make good money and register for schoolcraft until i can transfer. i think i'm gonna get into this low-income houses that mom was telling me about (she says they're actually pretty nice). after that i don't know but at least i have something of a plan worked out and that will have to suffice for now. i even have a list of appliances and things that i'll need to get to start a life:
a refridgerator
a microwave
a few rugs
a few lamps
some pots and pans
a coffee maker
a dining room set
i'm sure there's more i'll think of later but that's what comes for now.
i think that as soon as i get the extra money i'm gonna see if i need medicine for depression because, as cliche as it sounds, i think that i really need it. lately, i've been kinda fucked up and keep having some really bad thoughts (and this was before most of bad things happened).
i don't know what's really wrong with me but whatever it is, i need to fix it, fast. i've been really wired all day and i think that that's a good thing because unless i am, i would probably get distracted and fuck this up, too. i'm really trying not to think of what's gonna happen afterwards should this all work out because it really scares me because i have no idea. spending my life working and going home to an empty house every night seems really depressing and scares the hell out of me and i have a strong feeling that's what's gonna happen and i don't know how to stop it. but i guess we'll have to see what's gonna happen. maybe i'll get a dog, just to have some company. it'll kinda be like having a child, i guess, just not as major. the company would be really nice, too. heh...i'm down to wishing for the company of an animal. pretty pathetic, huh? they don't have a computer there so there's a good chance this will be my last entry or at least one of the last few.
man, that whole three good things, followed by one really bad thing that erases the good things really hit home this time. an odd part though; on the absolutely the worst night of my life, right after fate threw me the last kick in the balls that topped it all off, it storms as though all hell was breaking loose. i stood in the middle of the road, getting soaked, watching the the sky. i don't know why but right then, it seemed so fitting i couldn't stop laughing. i just sat there like the fucking idiot i am and laughed until i cried.
i've made a plan. eric, you're gonna be pissed so i just suggest you stop reading now. i'm not going to school this year my because my stepdad was thrown in prison and isn't getting out and unless me and dorin both work, my brother and sister will end up in an adoption agency or something like that, which in turn means i have to move back home. so i'm gonna work my ass off (i started earlier today; a eleven hour day) and try to help provide for my family because there's no one else to. i'm gonna get my GED and save up any money i can until i'm eighteen in eight months. then i'm gonna get a license so i can drive the car i got today (a blue achieva) and then maybe take bartending classes to try and do that since they make good money and register for schoolcraft until i can transfer. i think i'm gonna get into this low-income houses that mom was telling me about (she says they're actually pretty nice). after that i don't know but at least i have something of a plan worked out and that will have to suffice for now. i even have a list of appliances and things that i'll need to get to start a life:
a refridgerator
a microwave
a few rugs
a few lamps
some pots and pans
a coffee maker
a dining room set
i'm sure there's more i'll think of later but that's what comes for now.
i think that as soon as i get the extra money i'm gonna see if i need medicine for depression because, as cliche as it sounds, i think that i really need it. lately, i've been kinda fucked up and keep having some really bad thoughts (and this was before most of bad things happened).
i don't know what's really wrong with me but whatever it is, i need to fix it, fast. i've been really wired all day and i think that that's a good thing because unless i am, i would probably get distracted and fuck this up, too. i'm really trying not to think of what's gonna happen afterwards should this all work out because it really scares me because i have no idea. spending my life working and going home to an empty house every night seems really depressing and scares the hell out of me and i have a strong feeling that's what's gonna happen and i don't know how to stop it. but i guess we'll have to see what's gonna happen. maybe i'll get a dog, just to have some company. it'll kinda be like having a child, i guess, just not as major. the company would be really nice, too. heh...i'm down to wishing for the company of an animal. pretty pathetic, huh? they don't have a computer there so there's a good chance this will be my last entry or at least one of the last few.