May 23, 2005 23:47
My mind is running at very high rpm right now. Im in candyland with aspirations of so many things. Art, acting, schoolteacher, welder, bricklayer, business owner, pilot. So much I want to do, yet so little. I have so many things i have the desire to pursue, but at the same time, if i could be well off just sitting on my ass all day you would not hear me complain. I need to start small. My future could be crushed tomorrow and i'm a little sketchy, to say the least. My mom is flying out and I have to to tell her i'm not on track to graduate. This leaves me with two courses of action. A. Ask for permission to get an extension on my courses or B. I'm fucked (read: i'm cut-off in a relatively foreign city with no job or residence.) I really don't think my parents would put me in that position, but I never thought they'd send me to rehab either. The whole fam is coming this weekend and i'm less than ecstatic. My dad hasn't called me once since and seems to care less about what i'm doing. I'm stoked to see my brother but he's kinda the same way. I've always been the black ship in the Richardson compound and this experience has emphasized that to an extreme i cannot begin to express. I'm sick of being in a halfway-house. My two roommates recently moved out. They were both dope, but i was especially close to one. Now my roommates are the two fucktards in the house. Even with all the negative energy right now i'm fucking grateful. The ups and downs of this shit make me feel alive. I'm still undecided on where i'm going or how i'm getting there when i leave this house, but for now I'm just gonna take it slow and handle my bid-ness.
I really could use a cfm slurpy and two chumbo chax with cheese. Oh yeah and a little ride down highway B.
Peace and Love ya'al.