(no subject)
Dear you,
Why? Why must the week after the first time of seeing you in over a year and a half you start going out with someone it's impossible for me to hate? Especially since when I saw you that one time I thought there was possible potential. I still remember that doubletake when I came into the coffeehouse. What did it mean? You mentioned that sometimes it was hard in your longdistance relationship with your gf because you met other people. Why'd you mention that? Was it me, I felt something there that night two months ago. Or was it just my imagination? Why do you do this to me? I can't even look you in the eye without feeling like you're reading all my thoughts. That's how intense your eyes are for me.
Sincerely,
Me
Dear same you again,
I just want to be your friend again. Sure, at first I thought there was a chance for something else, a tiny chance but nonetheless a chance. When I found out otherwise, it hurt, I think, but at the same time, I figured something like that would happen since when were things ever simple between us? I just want a second chance. I just want to be your friend again. I just want to laugh around you again. I just want the experience of you making me smile and laugh so much it makes my face hurt again. I want the chance to laugh at your quirky stupid humor again. I want us to have a second chance. Please reply to my emails? So I don't feel like a complete moron for writing you. Especially the last one I sent about you being in my prayers. Do you realize how much courage it took me to send that to you? Not knowing if would harm whatever budding realtionship we have forming? Please show me that it's worth it for me to give you another chance after everything you've done. I forgave you but I don't know if you realize how much the events of that summer day in 2006 affected me. Or if you realized that it would hurt me. But come on, it should be obvious it was gonna hurt me. I mean, how should someone feel after someone they felt was a kinda good friend just writes them out of their life? Despite reassurances just a few days before? I'm quite sure they're not gonna be happy go lucky for a long time afterwards. Especially when there were no previous signs before it all went down. I still have the memories from those last two days and how there was no warning signs there. For months afterwards, it still hurt. It hurt to even think of you. Luckily, I had friends who were there for me. Unlike you.
Now you're back. I think you're back in my life for a reason. I thought I had it figured out. Now I'm not so sure anymore. All I know for sure is I just want you as a friend again.
Sincerely,
that girl that can be and will be happy having you as just a friend