Nov 03, 2004 16:54
When everything gets quiet, I think back on memories and all those times of laughter. I looked up to so many people, believing they would never turn their backs on me. When we used to say "we'll always be friends" or "i'll always be there." But as i see them in a gathering, or as i pass them by in the streets, it's like meeting a stranger, they act as if there was no moment in time when our paths crossed. It burns through and through, but people keep telling me to move on. It seems to me that we keep moving on, but to what? To something bigger or better? As if we are waiting for something spectacular. When really nothing has changed. It breaks my heart how people come in and out of my life. I feel like a puppy thats being passed around, cute at the first moment but then rejected afterwards. It really hurts when i think of all my close friends and where they all went? Was it me? I don't get it sometimes, why you put all your energy and efforts into people. Trying so hard to believe in them, more than you can do for yourself. I guess my mind was all backwards, in all my life, i thought that believing in friends was something more worth it, than believing in yourself. But, imagine, in all the time spent believeing and hoping for my friends, were spent towards me, i would be a better person now. I wouldn't be so damn broken, and asking why? But its okay now, i get it, no one sticks around too long to care and if they did it would be some miracle. In all my life, i've had some friend to go to but now i finally realize that its okay to be alone or lonely, cause after awhile, does it really matter?