When?

[0n1y_sev3nt3en]

my heart screams out
through my pain
and my bliss
trying to stay
headstrong
to make it seem
i dont care
i dont love you
anymore
but
i love you
evermore
youre the one
i cant forget
the one
i cant let go of
the love my heart
bonds so wholly with
watching you sleep
eyes twitching
chest moving
up and down
your lips
still so pink
and look so soft
watching you smile
feeling my heart
skip a beat
i feel a lump
deep down
into my throat
a tear rolls
down my cheek
remembering
you arent mine
suddenly feeling
cold
alone
with the longing
for you
to hold me
pull me out
of my emotions
feeling like im
waiting for something
that left so long ago
standing still
in the rain
cold
alone
with no one
to comfort me
leaving me emotions
knowing your face
and your features
feeling as though
you look at me
and scream out
"you hurt me!"
i try as hard as i can
to hold up both sides
both sides fell hard on me
leaving me at the starting line
back to the old drawing board
remembering i have to start over
with a new method
for the same catagory
"making him love me again"
millions of ways ive tried
millions of them
i have failed
i dont know if i have failed myself more
or him
i think id rather not find out
when will i be reminded
how his lips touched mine
so sweet and so innocent
so perfect and addicting
when will i be happy
being able to be trusted
holding his hand again
kissing his lips again
calling us one again
being myself
being with him
..when?

-leahmichelle-

7.26.04