Can't and Won't

[0n1y_sev3nt3en]

my mind is empty
except for a memory of you.
my eyes are wet
and my throat is dry
from crying hours with no end.
it's so unfair
the ratio of friends
who believe
i should just drop you
like a bad habit.
nobody understands
my pain
my sorrow
my loneliness
they cant
and they wont understand.
they dont see you
the ways i do
they dont love you
the ways i do.
they cant
and they wont understand.
my heart is heavy
and my concentration
is never broken of you.
i cant tolerate the fact
that they just wont
give me the chance to choose
they wont
let me decide
what it is that i want.
ive loved you for years
and i will in years to come.
i cant
and i wont change that.
im tired of trying
to give you up for good.
every time i try
i end up where i started.
missing you
loving you more
crying easier.
my mother tells me
to give you up
but she cant
and she wont understand
why i wont give you up.
but im tired of waiting
for you to love me.
there's only so long
i can go without you.
but if it is so
may my heart bleed
bleed until im okay again.
my heart will bleed dry
before im okay again.
why i cant stop loving you
is a question
that i cant
and i wont understand.
until i do
i chose overall
to still
love
you.

12:35 am March 1, 2005

-leahmichelle-