Legacy
Sometimes I think best when praying. Most of the time I know it's rude to God to slowly trail away in a tangential thought while praying for someone, but there are times when my trailing thoughts are God's revelations to me. Today's was one of them. Here's what I realized:
I don't want to leave my legacy behind.
Something I felt was stressed very strongly at Intervarsity back in the day was the idea of leaving your legacy behind. I still have that "LEGO-C" thingy hanging on my wall.
By the time I was a senior at IV and had only Senior Large Group left before I was whirled away into the mess of the real world, I was pretty much freaking out about what legacy I was going to leave behind with the students at IV. My thoughts constantly sounded like this: "I'm almost leaving Davis. No one knows me. No one seems to remember my meetings with every one of my freshmen every single week; no one seems to remember that I sacrificed an entire summer to go on missions; no one seems to remember that I gave 150% into leading the worship and tech team the way a real worship leader should in my junior year; no one seems to remember that I put in probably hundreds of hours working with The 1000 Wells Project to help give people in Africa clean water; and no one seems to remember that I gave my entire college career to doing good things with IV and on-campus non-profit organizations. Should I just give up? I'll go out quietly without notice. No, I should go out with a bang! I'll plan some big event and start mentoring/discipling 4 freshmen girls and invest even more in whoever I've already been mentoring/discipling and hope they'll somehow leave my name behind. But then I'm already at this point and I'm so tired. I should go out quietly without making a big deal of anything..." and so on and so forth.
I ended up sharing my testimony at Senior Large Group about my four years at Davis, and think I got just a small portion of my testimony correct: my four years at Davis was filled to the brim with doing things - and good things! But in the end, when Jesus wasn't in the picture, it wasn't worth doing at all. There was no real purpose. I was just doing good things for the sake of attention. I reminded the students to remember Jesus in everything they did, to do everything for the glory of God, and people told me they were blessed by what I shared. I thought to myself, "I guess this is as good a legacy to leave of me as any."
Today on my walk, I realized that at the end of my life, if I leave that kind of a legacy behind - the legacy where my good deeds are remembered and my name is written on all kinds of history books and along the side is written, "and she remembered and was a follower of Jesus" - I will have wasted my life. My life will have been utterly meaningless.
That's not the kind of legacy I want to leave.
Today I realized that, at the end of my life, I want people to say, "I don't remember what she looks like, really, and I don't think I ever knew her last name, but I got to taste and get a glimpse of the glory of God through her. Jesus was in her, and when I met Jesus, my life was turned around." I want people to be so utterly enthralled by meeting Jesus through me that I just become the wrapper around a really good cupcake. I could be the most beautiful cupcake wrapper out there, have the most sparkles and most artistic designs, but in the end, I'm not the centerpiece. That cupcake in the middle - that delicious, moist, flavorful, satisfying cupcake - that is the main attraction, and that is Jesus.
Jesus, may my name not be remembered, and may my good deeds go unnoticed. In the end, may You shine so brightly through my life that the only thing remembered of Victoria Yen-lan Lin would be Jesus, His death, and resurrection.
Jesus, when I return back to the dust, I want to leave Your legacy behind.
I don't want to leave my legacy behind.
Something I felt was stressed very strongly at Intervarsity back in the day was the idea of leaving your legacy behind. I still have that "LEGO-C" thingy hanging on my wall.
By the time I was a senior at IV and had only Senior Large Group left before I was whirled away into the mess of the real world, I was pretty much freaking out about what legacy I was going to leave behind with the students at IV. My thoughts constantly sounded like this: "I'm almost leaving Davis. No one knows me. No one seems to remember my meetings with every one of my freshmen every single week; no one seems to remember that I sacrificed an entire summer to go on missions; no one seems to remember that I gave 150% into leading the worship and tech team the way a real worship leader should in my junior year; no one seems to remember that I put in probably hundreds of hours working with The 1000 Wells Project to help give people in Africa clean water; and no one seems to remember that I gave my entire college career to doing good things with IV and on-campus non-profit organizations. Should I just give up? I'll go out quietly without notice. No, I should go out with a bang! I'll plan some big event and start mentoring/discipling 4 freshmen girls and invest even more in whoever I've already been mentoring/discipling and hope they'll somehow leave my name behind. But then I'm already at this point and I'm so tired. I should go out quietly without making a big deal of anything..." and so on and so forth.
I ended up sharing my testimony at Senior Large Group about my four years at Davis, and think I got just a small portion of my testimony correct: my four years at Davis was filled to the brim with doing things - and good things! But in the end, when Jesus wasn't in the picture, it wasn't worth doing at all. There was no real purpose. I was just doing good things for the sake of attention. I reminded the students to remember Jesus in everything they did, to do everything for the glory of God, and people told me they were blessed by what I shared. I thought to myself, "I guess this is as good a legacy to leave of me as any."
Today on my walk, I realized that at the end of my life, if I leave that kind of a legacy behind - the legacy where my good deeds are remembered and my name is written on all kinds of history books and along the side is written, "and she remembered and was a follower of Jesus" - I will have wasted my life. My life will have been utterly meaningless.
That's not the kind of legacy I want to leave.
Today I realized that, at the end of my life, I want people to say, "I don't remember what she looks like, really, and I don't think I ever knew her last name, but I got to taste and get a glimpse of the glory of God through her. Jesus was in her, and when I met Jesus, my life was turned around." I want people to be so utterly enthralled by meeting Jesus through me that I just become the wrapper around a really good cupcake. I could be the most beautiful cupcake wrapper out there, have the most sparkles and most artistic designs, but in the end, I'm not the centerpiece. That cupcake in the middle - that delicious, moist, flavorful, satisfying cupcake - that is the main attraction, and that is Jesus.
Jesus, may my name not be remembered, and may my good deeds go unnoticed. In the end, may You shine so brightly through my life that the only thing remembered of Victoria Yen-lan Lin would be Jesus, His death, and resurrection.
Jesus, when I return back to the dust, I want to leave Your legacy behind.