(no subject)

[0h_so_special]

It's thursday the 28th and it's josh's birthday. I had this entire day planed i was going to skip school and hang out with him all day and then i was going to cook him dinner and desert and give him his birthday gift. But that has all changed. I was thinking about everyone in my life and then it hit me. People are assholes to me. I try to be a nice person but i get fucked over that way. I Don't think i really care what happens to me any more. I have been put through hell and back, but no one seems to want to give me a little sympathy. And that is ok, because i don't want peoples sympathy. I have came to a conclusion when i turn 16 i'm going to runaway and leave everyone in my life in the past. I'm way to smart and way to mature to be putting up with the shit people give me. My life is so fucked up that i really don't care about anyone else in my life anymore. I tried the whole emo shit but that's just for loser wanna bes, And i have tried the whole killing your self theory to but that's just stupid. So I have this great plan where people can kiss my ass if they don't like me or the way i am. I not going to do anything stupid like break the law or anything. Or at least i don't think so.but yeah life is a bitch. I'm still in love with josh and i don't know why but i don't want to be.He told me he would never make me cry or even leave my side. And he even promised me that he would never lie or never cheat on me. Well i guess promise's are t hard for him to keep. He was cheating on me with this chick named judy, And he told that he was sorry and all this shit but i really don't care anymore. I loved this fuckfaggot so much that it was killing me. But i let this stupid thing called love get in the way of my life. And now i'm sitting in my basement doing nothing . I would be watching the NBA Playoffs but every one is watching something stupid. All well. I guess i'm going to go now. And oh yeah for anyone wondering the reason why i haven't been in school is because i taking the day's off. Ok bye-bye.
<3 Amber.