the muffin shop
I'm still up because I usually can't sleep the night I get my period...is that odd?
And I'm realizing many many things about umm...me and all that entertains me.
my dreams are like WHAOOOO!
Looking for a job around this time isn't wise at all because my mind just gets divided into several thousand different pieces and I can't quite focus for long periods of time. If it doesn't happen or if I have doubts maybe it's just not meant to be just yet.
My feelings about Iffy change every five seconds or so. He made me believe that he didn't give a good goddamn and now he left a comment on my other site saying he cares about me just as much as Shawn which I'm pretty sure is a lie if I ever saw one. I think he just met the guy and still loves him...got whatever it was the they both wanted done and even *gasp* tried the whole honesty bit with their parental units. So now Shawn's gone in body if not in spirit so Iffy's quite bored and confused by my lack of communication. I don't communicate for fear of saying/doing something that I might regret. I have no time for that crap anyway. It's all unstable and in the past...I'd rather move forward to more promising concepts. I'm fucking exhausted though. Lot of stuff going on. Lots of stuff left to learn and deal with...
Such as::
:X: Cece and I are complete opposites...in like almost every way imaginable. This makes things complex which in turn keeps us entertained and attatched I think. If things were easy I'd be bored and done by now.
:X: I heart my mom. She's like my best friend and all that jazz. Our relationship kicks ass.
:X: Big Jenn must be tortured if not in this life than in another one cause Damn she is one evil, minipulative, crule, selfish, lazy, immature BITCH. And that's on a good day.
:X: V.C. Andrews must have had some kind of STRANGE life. Her stories are all kinds of crazy. I'm reading the second novel in the Dollanganger series. I cannot seem to put the books down. This is my 17th book so far this year. I'm slacking big time. Bad.
:X: What shall the future hold for CBF day?
:X: The one song that can make me cry EVERY TIME I HEAR IT is "In My Daughter's Eyes" by Martina McBride.
:X: I was writing about the Iffy fiasco in my diary and then stopped like last week for some reason mid entry and now I really have been avoiding fininshing the entry for reasons unknown to me which frustrates me. So in turn I get it all out in here. Good times.
:X: Saved is a really funny movie. "No more muffins for you! The muffin shop is clossed!" *dies* Patrick Fugit hangs on the cross panting in his near nudeness...*swoons*
:X: I think Derik commented the other day. How lovely.
:X: I could so easily disolve into a puddle of mush right now if someone would just give me a back massage.
:X: I only flirt with Cece's brother because it's nice to be liked when you know that nothing will come from it. It reminds me of the good old days. It's safe and effortless. He's cute but lacks depth and self control. And it drives Cece mad. "Do not make eye contact with him!!! Don't encourage him!" haha (^_^)
:X: Crazy eights is a fun game.
:X: I should so be sleeping right about n...
:*:Sweetness:*:
And I'm realizing many many things about umm...me and all that entertains me.
my dreams are like WHAOOOO!
Looking for a job around this time isn't wise at all because my mind just gets divided into several thousand different pieces and I can't quite focus for long periods of time. If it doesn't happen or if I have doubts maybe it's just not meant to be just yet.
My feelings about Iffy change every five seconds or so. He made me believe that he didn't give a good goddamn and now he left a comment on my other site saying he cares about me just as much as Shawn which I'm pretty sure is a lie if I ever saw one. I think he just met the guy and still loves him...got whatever it was the they both wanted done and even *gasp* tried the whole honesty bit with their parental units. So now Shawn's gone in body if not in spirit so Iffy's quite bored and confused by my lack of communication. I don't communicate for fear of saying/doing something that I might regret. I have no time for that crap anyway. It's all unstable and in the past...I'd rather move forward to more promising concepts. I'm fucking exhausted though. Lot of stuff going on. Lots of stuff left to learn and deal with...
Such as::
:X: Cece and I are complete opposites...in like almost every way imaginable. This makes things complex which in turn keeps us entertained and attatched I think. If things were easy I'd be bored and done by now.
:X: I heart my mom. She's like my best friend and all that jazz. Our relationship kicks ass.
:X: Big Jenn must be tortured if not in this life than in another one cause Damn she is one evil, minipulative, crule, selfish, lazy, immature BITCH. And that's on a good day.
:X: V.C. Andrews must have had some kind of STRANGE life. Her stories are all kinds of crazy. I'm reading the second novel in the Dollanganger series. I cannot seem to put the books down. This is my 17th book so far this year. I'm slacking big time. Bad.
:X: What shall the future hold for CBF day?
:X: The one song that can make me cry EVERY TIME I HEAR IT is "In My Daughter's Eyes" by Martina McBride.
:X: I was writing about the Iffy fiasco in my diary and then stopped like last week for some reason mid entry and now I really have been avoiding fininshing the entry for reasons unknown to me which frustrates me. So in turn I get it all out in here. Good times.
:X: Saved is a really funny movie. "No more muffins for you! The muffin shop is clossed!" *dies* Patrick Fugit hangs on the cross panting in his near nudeness...*swoons*
:X: I think Derik commented the other day. How lovely.
:X: I could so easily disolve into a puddle of mush right now if someone would just give me a back massage.
:X: I only flirt with Cece's brother because it's nice to be liked when you know that nothing will come from it. It reminds me of the good old days. It's safe and effortless. He's cute but lacks depth and self control. And it drives Cece mad. "Do not make eye contact with him!!! Don't encourage him!" haha (^_^)
:X: Crazy eights is a fun game.
:X: I should so be sleeping right about n...
:*:Sweetness:*: