What I am to you isn't real
I tried to deny myself the wonderful splash of experencing my true feelings and their varying intensities. This caused the feelings to pile up from lack of expression. So of course when I let some of it go the rest followed in this tidel wave like fashion. I wrote diary entries and several letters and cried a few times. Boy that took a lot out of me.
"I don't know where I'm going but I'm going and I'll know it when I get there.."
Catch 22's. Cognative dissonance. My thoughts are going in circles. Those who listen only hear what they want to hear. This push and pull motion is making me sick. I'd love to soar for a few days...yet this is only possible in dreams...because the yin-yang is everywhere. Good in bad and bad in good.
"Angel Juan has taken my mind and my heart away and his ghost is trapped in the empty places that are left. Not so I feel like he's with me. Just like always remembering that he's not." ~Missing Angel Juan by Francesca Lia Block
It feels like he's already gone. -_-
Yesterday was entertaining...it included going with mom to my nephew's b-day party...chips and cake and vomit...oh my. All in all I felt a bit further away and closer to my family at the same time.
Today was good. I'm loving this weather. Twas nice and warm and sunny.
Tomorrow's gonna be a busy busy day. This is a good thing I suppose. Job hunting,shopping of some sort and other such random events.
I might not update for a while. Do me a favor and miss me.
:*:Sweetness:*:
"I don't know where I'm going but I'm going and I'll know it when I get there.."
Catch 22's. Cognative dissonance. My thoughts are going in circles. Those who listen only hear what they want to hear. This push and pull motion is making me sick. I'd love to soar for a few days...yet this is only possible in dreams...because the yin-yang is everywhere. Good in bad and bad in good.
"Angel Juan has taken my mind and my heart away and his ghost is trapped in the empty places that are left. Not so I feel like he's with me. Just like always remembering that he's not." ~Missing Angel Juan by Francesca Lia Block
It feels like he's already gone. -_-
Yesterday was entertaining...it included going with mom to my nephew's b-day party...chips and cake and vomit...oh my. All in all I felt a bit further away and closer to my family at the same time.
Today was good. I'm loving this weather. Twas nice and warm and sunny.
Tomorrow's gonna be a busy busy day. This is a good thing I suppose. Job hunting,shopping of some sort and other such random events.
I might not update for a while. Do me a favor and miss me.
:*:Sweetness:*: