What Scares him Most
Title: What Scares him Most
Author: 0creativity
Rating: PG I guess
Summary: It had been easier to get over than he expected. Set post-GD.
Disclaimer: Do I even have to say it? I own nothing.
OK, so maybe I'm an eternal optimist or something, but you know what? Life sucks enough without Nick and Greg being all angsty and depressed and stuff, so here's a little fic where everything turns out OK.
It had been easier to get over than he expected, and that scared him. If he was being honest with himself, he’d admit that he’d been heading towards a burnout for a long time now, because after more than five years on the job, it had finally started to wear him down. He was exhausted and didn’t know how much more he could take, but he was still too proud to ask for time off. If he did, that meant admitting that he was weak, and he wasn’t sure he could do that. But now he had been forced to take time off and he wasn’t going to fight it.
He was just glad to be alive. That’s all it really came down to. Suddenly the colors seemed brighter and the flowers smelled better and jokes were funnier and food tasted better. Every emotion he felt was ten times stronger than he ever remembered it being before and he realized that the world was still a great place to be if you took the time to notice things. It was easy, in his line of work, to forget to do that, even though it was his job. He was always so busy looking for the smallest piece of evidence that he missed the beauty in a sunset. He was always so busy listening for the smallest indicator of a suspect lying that he didn’t notice the birds singing in the background, so busy trying to forget the smell of a decomposing body that, somewhere along the way, he also forgot what Greg smelled like.
Greg. That’s what he thought the most about while he was trapped in the box under the ground. Greg kept him from pulling the trigger. He had promised Greg that he’d always be there, that he’d never leave him, that what they had was real and true and would last forever. And every time he thought about pulling the trigger he’d also remember that Nick Stokes did not break promises.
The day he was released from the hospital, Greg barely had the front door to their apartment closed before Nick had him pressed against it, kissing him as if his life depended on it, and maybe it did. He’d thought about that too, how having Greg leave his life could hurt him so much more than being stuck in a stupid plexiglass box could. When Nick pulled back to catch his breath, he looked at Greg, expecting to see confusion or even pity in his eyes. Instead, he saw love and understanding and he could have hit himself for being so stupid because of course Greg would understand. Greg had had his own epiphany of sorts after the lab explosion and if he hadn’t, they might not be here in their apartment fumbling their way towards the bedroom, running into walls and tripping over movies and video games and CDs on their way.
He spent his entire first night back reacquainting himself with Greg’s body, making sure he could never forget how Greg smelled great even after a whole day at work, or how Greg tasted like coffee and candy or how he sounded when he told Nick he loved him. Nick apologized, mouthing the words against Greg’s body as he kissed his way down it, over and over again for ever forgetting any of those things.
It scared him that something that was supposed to leave him bruised and scarred and emotionally disturbed for the rest of his life was actually making it better. He wondered briefly what would have happened if he would have continued down the same destructive path, but he quickly pushed those thoughts out of his mind. He was never going down that path again, so why should he worry about it? It had been months after the incident and while he still had nightmares and couldn’t stand to be in tight spaces anymore, it didn’t bother him. Greg was there for every nightmare, just like Nick had been there for him a couple of years earlier, when they had just started out. He looked over at the man sleeping next to him and couldn’t help himself; he had to touch. He wrapped his arms around the body and pulled it closer to him and Greg sighed contentedly.
He should be scared of the dark, of being alone, of ants, of eerie green light, of enclosed spaces, of working crime scenes. Logically, he knew this, and he was afraid of all those things to some degree, but he hardly ever noticed it. He ran his hands up and down Greg’s chest and decided that what scared him the most was that it had taken him almost dying before he realized how wonderful a place the world really is.
Author: 0creativity
Rating: PG I guess
Summary: It had been easier to get over than he expected. Set post-GD.
Disclaimer: Do I even have to say it? I own nothing.
OK, so maybe I'm an eternal optimist or something, but you know what? Life sucks enough without Nick and Greg being all angsty and depressed and stuff, so here's a little fic where everything turns out OK.
It had been easier to get over than he expected, and that scared him. If he was being honest with himself, he’d admit that he’d been heading towards a burnout for a long time now, because after more than five years on the job, it had finally started to wear him down. He was exhausted and didn’t know how much more he could take, but he was still too proud to ask for time off. If he did, that meant admitting that he was weak, and he wasn’t sure he could do that. But now he had been forced to take time off and he wasn’t going to fight it.
He was just glad to be alive. That’s all it really came down to. Suddenly the colors seemed brighter and the flowers smelled better and jokes were funnier and food tasted better. Every emotion he felt was ten times stronger than he ever remembered it being before and he realized that the world was still a great place to be if you took the time to notice things. It was easy, in his line of work, to forget to do that, even though it was his job. He was always so busy looking for the smallest piece of evidence that he missed the beauty in a sunset. He was always so busy listening for the smallest indicator of a suspect lying that he didn’t notice the birds singing in the background, so busy trying to forget the smell of a decomposing body that, somewhere along the way, he also forgot what Greg smelled like.
Greg. That’s what he thought the most about while he was trapped in the box under the ground. Greg kept him from pulling the trigger. He had promised Greg that he’d always be there, that he’d never leave him, that what they had was real and true and would last forever. And every time he thought about pulling the trigger he’d also remember that Nick Stokes did not break promises.
The day he was released from the hospital, Greg barely had the front door to their apartment closed before Nick had him pressed against it, kissing him as if his life depended on it, and maybe it did. He’d thought about that too, how having Greg leave his life could hurt him so much more than being stuck in a stupid plexiglass box could. When Nick pulled back to catch his breath, he looked at Greg, expecting to see confusion or even pity in his eyes. Instead, he saw love and understanding and he could have hit himself for being so stupid because of course Greg would understand. Greg had had his own epiphany of sorts after the lab explosion and if he hadn’t, they might not be here in their apartment fumbling their way towards the bedroom, running into walls and tripping over movies and video games and CDs on their way.
He spent his entire first night back reacquainting himself with Greg’s body, making sure he could never forget how Greg smelled great even after a whole day at work, or how Greg tasted like coffee and candy or how he sounded when he told Nick he loved him. Nick apologized, mouthing the words against Greg’s body as he kissed his way down it, over and over again for ever forgetting any of those things.
It scared him that something that was supposed to leave him bruised and scarred and emotionally disturbed for the rest of his life was actually making it better. He wondered briefly what would have happened if he would have continued down the same destructive path, but he quickly pushed those thoughts out of his mind. He was never going down that path again, so why should he worry about it? It had been months after the incident and while he still had nightmares and couldn’t stand to be in tight spaces anymore, it didn’t bother him. Greg was there for every nightmare, just like Nick had been there for him a couple of years earlier, when they had just started out. He looked over at the man sleeping next to him and couldn’t help himself; he had to touch. He wrapped his arms around the body and pulled it closer to him and Greg sighed contentedly.
He should be scared of the dark, of being alone, of ants, of eerie green light, of enclosed spaces, of working crime scenes. Logically, he knew this, and he was afraid of all those things to some degree, but he hardly ever noticed it. He ran his hands up and down Greg’s chest and decided that what scared him the most was that it had taken him almost dying before he realized how wonderful a place the world really is.