too fast too soon=too much
so life's been hectic as hell
Working full time takes a toll on you - i need a massage and a 10 hour sleep - which i haven't gotten since God knows how long!!
I've been chilling w/ buddies alot from HS - and so far we've lasted a whole summer and a month of keeping in contact. Honest to God, i hope this continues like this b/c honestly;;;who else do we have.
Although i've tried time and time again, i still can't let go of people, or situations that took up alot of my time in the past. I remember leaving elementery school - so hard for me. I thought high school would be hell and i wouldnt be accepted - typical fear i guess - but HS turned out to be a pretty good experience.
Now that it's over with, im not like i was 4 years ago - obviously - but i do miss it. Honestly, i don't know how people could take a year off and never go back to school - because now that i've taken a year off i can't see myself not going to school I can't see how people would rather spend countless hours at a retail job, when they could have a career. I went to a Psychology class at Ryerson w/ Gitte - who's enrolled in RY - and i was so freaking excited. I took down all the notes and it helped that the proff. was super hot with the sexiest english accent - but that's besides the point lol! Maybe i was so excited because it was my first class at a univ. but i don't know - i felt really confortable in the environment of that classroom. I just seemed to adapt to it. And i'm pretty sure - for now - that psrychology would be an interesting major. And even though there are sooo many Psych. majors at york, it dosn't have to be a bad thing. I work with 4 Psych. majors and they've all said it's hard as shit, but it's interesting. So for now, i'm sticking w/ Psych. But who knows - maybe my mind will change in the next week, month 6 month, or even next year.
I think i'm going into such detail about Psychology because i'm trying to avoid what i really want to cuss and complain about - but i won't get into that. I've changed - i can feel it. No one notices but me. I don't feel the same as i sued too - i think working at Zara has become too serious. - and it's only been a month and a half. I hate myself for falling for the wrong guys all the time - because i end up paying the fukin price in the end. It's always me - but i've decided that i no longer have hope - in anything for that matter. I can't trust myself anymore. Everytime i meet someone i just think of the 'what ifs...' and get my hopes high - therefore i'm not even going to try anymore.
I think i'm too open on my lj, and at the same time, not clear enough.
All in all - im dissapointed in myself for being let down time and time again. That's all ih ave to say ...
Working full time takes a toll on you - i need a massage and a 10 hour sleep - which i haven't gotten since God knows how long!!
I've been chilling w/ buddies alot from HS - and so far we've lasted a whole summer and a month of keeping in contact. Honest to God, i hope this continues like this b/c honestly;;;who else do we have.
Although i've tried time and time again, i still can't let go of people, or situations that took up alot of my time in the past. I remember leaving elementery school - so hard for me. I thought high school would be hell and i wouldnt be accepted - typical fear i guess - but HS turned out to be a pretty good experience.
Now that it's over with, im not like i was 4 years ago - obviously - but i do miss it. Honestly, i don't know how people could take a year off and never go back to school - because now that i've taken a year off i can't see myself not going to school I can't see how people would rather spend countless hours at a retail job, when they could have a career. I went to a Psychology class at Ryerson w/ Gitte - who's enrolled in RY - and i was so freaking excited. I took down all the notes and it helped that the proff. was super hot with the sexiest english accent - but that's besides the point lol! Maybe i was so excited because it was my first class at a univ. but i don't know - i felt really confortable in the environment of that classroom. I just seemed to adapt to it. And i'm pretty sure - for now - that psrychology would be an interesting major. And even though there are sooo many Psych. majors at york, it dosn't have to be a bad thing. I work with 4 Psych. majors and they've all said it's hard as shit, but it's interesting. So for now, i'm sticking w/ Psych. But who knows - maybe my mind will change in the next week, month 6 month, or even next year.
I think i'm going into such detail about Psychology because i'm trying to avoid what i really want to cuss and complain about - but i won't get into that. I've changed - i can feel it. No one notices but me. I don't feel the same as i sued too - i think working at Zara has become too serious. - and it's only been a month and a half. I hate myself for falling for the wrong guys all the time - because i end up paying the fukin price in the end. It's always me - but i've decided that i no longer have hope - in anything for that matter. I can't trust myself anymore. Everytime i meet someone i just think of the 'what ifs...' and get my hopes high - therefore i'm not even going to try anymore.
I think i'm too open on my lj, and at the same time, not clear enough.
All in all - im dissapointed in myself for being let down time and time again. That's all ih ave to say ...