I'm such a cornball
Let me first say that I just got hit by a caffeine high so forgive the oddballness... no actually just embrace it.
Let me second say that as usual, there is a buttload of homework I should be doing right now and it's nagging me in the back of my mind.
Let me third say that I'm watching or rather, listening to Cinderella. I've been drawn to the classic Disney movies lately because I'm really curious as to the roles I was brought up learning to fill, and how Disney, which pretty much acted as another parent to me and I doubt I'm wrong if I assume many of our generation, further instilled those roles in us.
I don't have anything remotely profound to say today. Just that I'm doing well, really well. I mean, I've got heaps farther to go, for sure. But, things are looking up and that's pretty much awesome. I was reading through a lot of my old notebooks at home today. You know, all that teen, emo, I suck, no wait, the world sucks, why does no one love me...blah, blah, blah junk. Anyway, in all seriousness, it was both amazing and horrible to read. I mean, I understood so much going through my teen years, so much about the way the world works, at least from my limited experiences. But I couldn't understand why people said one thing and did another. I didn't get how I was supposed to act one way instead of another. And I know this might sound bad, but I didn't get that I was better than what I was being taught.
So looking back now, the biggest problem from my teen years, is that I had a rebellous spirit that never made it into a form of expression. My parents told me one thing, teachers told me another, the status quo told me another, etc., and I didn't understand that I could stand as an entity on my own. To paraphrase Perks of Being a Wallflower (cliche I know), I was acting as a sponge rather than a filter to all the information I was receiving. And because I was just soaking it all up, I didn't get why different information disagreed with each other or why I disagreed with any of it, or that I could disagree with any of it. I figured that if so many others did it this way, or if someone I respected thought that way, that must make it right. So I strove to be "right".
I want to smack my 16 year old self. Okay I still want to smack my current self pretty often.
The biggest lesson I've ever learned in this life is that mistakes and imperfections are the only thing that makes life worth living. Everything we love in this life comes out of our own flawed humanity.
Let me second say that as usual, there is a buttload of homework I should be doing right now and it's nagging me in the back of my mind.
Let me third say that I'm watching or rather, listening to Cinderella. I've been drawn to the classic Disney movies lately because I'm really curious as to the roles I was brought up learning to fill, and how Disney, which pretty much acted as another parent to me and I doubt I'm wrong if I assume many of our generation, further instilled those roles in us.
I don't have anything remotely profound to say today. Just that I'm doing well, really well. I mean, I've got heaps farther to go, for sure. But, things are looking up and that's pretty much awesome. I was reading through a lot of my old notebooks at home today. You know, all that teen, emo, I suck, no wait, the world sucks, why does no one love me...blah, blah, blah junk. Anyway, in all seriousness, it was both amazing and horrible to read. I mean, I understood so much going through my teen years, so much about the way the world works, at least from my limited experiences. But I couldn't understand why people said one thing and did another. I didn't get how I was supposed to act one way instead of another. And I know this might sound bad, but I didn't get that I was better than what I was being taught.
So looking back now, the biggest problem from my teen years, is that I had a rebellous spirit that never made it into a form of expression. My parents told me one thing, teachers told me another, the status quo told me another, etc., and I didn't understand that I could stand as an entity on my own. To paraphrase Perks of Being a Wallflower (cliche I know), I was acting as a sponge rather than a filter to all the information I was receiving. And because I was just soaking it all up, I didn't get why different information disagreed with each other or why I disagreed with any of it, or that I could disagree with any of it. I figured that if so many others did it this way, or if someone I respected thought that way, that must make it right. So I strove to be "right".
I want to smack my 16 year old self. Okay I still want to smack my current self pretty often.
The biggest lesson I've ever learned in this life is that mistakes and imperfections are the only thing that makes life worth living. Everything we love in this life comes out of our own flawed humanity.