(no subject)
'urgh' I believe would be an adequate description for how I'm feeling at the moment. I almost want to delete that muddled entry before this one that I apparently made while suffering the effects of the fog that is now, blissfully, gone. Coming to grips over the past couple of days with what happened while we were under the influence of it has been ... interesting to say the least. I can't say I recall all the details of what happened, but I what I do remember is both unsettling and reassuring.
At some point it seems that Namine had, well... signed the cast on my leg. The exact reason for it still escapes me, but I can only assume that it had something to do with the way one particular hall in the castle looks. No one seems to have come around to clean it yet and in that I have mixed feelings. I'm certainly no artist, although it looks as if Namine and Larxene continued on after Luxord and I had left. Someone should probably clean it off at some point.
Coloring on the walls aside, I've been slowly going over some of the memories that seemed to have come back to me in the midst of the purple haze. I don't think I could really explain how or why, but I woke up after everything was over in possession of the fragmented memories of a past I previously couldn't remember. Truthfully, I think that I'd rather not have them; the past I left behind in giving myself to the darkness should have little bearing on my 'life' now, but these memories are intruding anyway.
My name in particular. I had adopted 'Sai' when first asked all those years ago, as I had nothing else to call myself then, which of course was then amended. Perhaps in the back of my mind, in that unconscious part that whispers to us in the language of senses and dreams, I knew that I was close. Isa was my name. In a dead tongue it had meant standstill... one who waits. I honored Gods on that vanished world.
I find myself wishing that I could forget what has come back to me. I have no use for it.
As it is I believe I have enough troubles without having to deal with a past I would have been content leaving behind forever. It seems the only bright spot to the past couple of days since the fog has lifted as been the removal of the damn casts from my arm and leg. It was certainly a decent reminder of why one tends to avoid confrontations with keyblades. At least I shouldn't have to worry anymore about having to deal with Terra's... although it begs the question of whether or not Xemnas will retain the weapon ...
...Xemnas, contact me if you happen to see this before I can check in on you. We need to talk.
Luxord, I appologize for the way I acted a few days ago. It was uncalled for.
At some point it seems that Namine had, well... signed the cast on my leg. The exact reason for it still escapes me, but I can only assume that it had something to do with the way one particular hall in the castle looks. No one seems to have come around to clean it yet and in that I have mixed feelings. I'm certainly no artist, although it looks as if Namine and Larxene continued on after Luxord and I had left. Someone should probably clean it off at some point.
Coloring on the walls aside, I've been slowly going over some of the memories that seemed to have come back to me in the midst of the purple haze. I don't think I could really explain how or why, but I woke up after everything was over in possession of the fragmented memories of a past I previously couldn't remember. Truthfully, I think that I'd rather not have them; the past I left behind in giving myself to the darkness should have little bearing on my 'life' now, but these memories are intruding anyway.
My name in particular. I had adopted 'Sai' when first asked all those years ago, as I had nothing else to call myself then, which of course was then amended. Perhaps in the back of my mind, in that unconscious part that whispers to us in the language of senses and dreams, I knew that I was close. Isa was my name. In a dead tongue it had meant standstill... one who waits. I honored Gods on that vanished world.
I find myself wishing that I could forget what has come back to me. I have no use for it.
As it is I believe I have enough troubles without having to deal with a past I would have been content leaving behind forever. It seems the only bright spot to the past couple of days since the fog has lifted as been the removal of the damn casts from my arm and leg. It was certainly a decent reminder of why one tends to avoid confrontations with keyblades. At least I shouldn't have to worry anymore about having to deal with Terra's... although it begs the question of whether or not Xemnas will retain the weapon ...
...Xemnas, contact me if you happen to see this before I can check in on you. We need to talk.
Luxord, I appologize for the way I acted a few days ago. It was uncalled for.