(no subject)
Happy April Fools Day!!
i really hope a month goes by fast cuz then ill be 16 and ill have my license and my car which means ill have good grades and it'll be close to the end of the school year and ill have 1200+ dollars that ive been saving up for my car but now it doesnt have a purpose except to spend on fun things. i definately hope i meet a guy soon. im wanting a boyfriend again. i went through this phase where i didnt really want one but now im wanting that closeness and that constant. i mean im not gonna rush into anything but i wanna meet someone that will care about me and not just suddenly drop me for no reason or use me or whatever. like a best friend thats also your boyfriend. anyways...
i hate being hurt... cuz i have to pretend like im not hurting, pretend like it doesnt give me this pain in my chest everytime i see you or think about you or any of that. it just sucks cuz i feel so stupid everytime i start to cry about it cuz i feel like i shouldnt be that upset about it... but i am. but you know what really sucks is how many times i cried when i was with you and you didnt notice or if you noticed you didnt care. cuz id be with you and youd pretend everything was fine but i'd know that after you took me home youd go back to acting like i didnt exist. do you know what that feels like? to do as much as i could to try to get you to want to be around me or talk to me but in the end know its not gonna work. do you know how horrible it felt everytime i felt like i had to give you some in order to keep you talking to me? i dont even know why i did it anymore. how can you go from being the biggest sweetie in the whole world to the biggest asshole in such a short amount of time? what did i ever do to you?
k thats enough. just a little built up crap. i really am ok, and i know that but it just gets to me sometimes.
swimsuit season is almost here if not here already! which means i need to start working hard so that i dont feel self concious in a bathing suit... that way i can go swimming and tanning all the time and not care about being half naked and end up having a really nice tan. not to mention getting in shape wouldnt hurt, i was in pretty good shape for a lil while then it died. i just need to make sure im staying healthy so that im not constantly catching diseases and totally screwing up everything.
okay well im tired now, i was just typing cuz i couldnt sleep. gnight sweet dreams! hope you have a good friday to start out a good weekend! love ya!
~aimée~
i really hope a month goes by fast cuz then ill be 16 and ill have my license and my car which means ill have good grades and it'll be close to the end of the school year and ill have 1200+ dollars that ive been saving up for my car but now it doesnt have a purpose except to spend on fun things. i definately hope i meet a guy soon. im wanting a boyfriend again. i went through this phase where i didnt really want one but now im wanting that closeness and that constant. i mean im not gonna rush into anything but i wanna meet someone that will care about me and not just suddenly drop me for no reason or use me or whatever. like a best friend thats also your boyfriend. anyways...
i hate being hurt... cuz i have to pretend like im not hurting, pretend like it doesnt give me this pain in my chest everytime i see you or think about you or any of that. it just sucks cuz i feel so stupid everytime i start to cry about it cuz i feel like i shouldnt be that upset about it... but i am. but you know what really sucks is how many times i cried when i was with you and you didnt notice or if you noticed you didnt care. cuz id be with you and youd pretend everything was fine but i'd know that after you took me home youd go back to acting like i didnt exist. do you know what that feels like? to do as much as i could to try to get you to want to be around me or talk to me but in the end know its not gonna work. do you know how horrible it felt everytime i felt like i had to give you some in order to keep you talking to me? i dont even know why i did it anymore. how can you go from being the biggest sweetie in the whole world to the biggest asshole in such a short amount of time? what did i ever do to you?
k thats enough. just a little built up crap. i really am ok, and i know that but it just gets to me sometimes.
swimsuit season is almost here if not here already! which means i need to start working hard so that i dont feel self concious in a bathing suit... that way i can go swimming and tanning all the time and not care about being half naked and end up having a really nice tan. not to mention getting in shape wouldnt hurt, i was in pretty good shape for a lil while then it died. i just need to make sure im staying healthy so that im not constantly catching diseases and totally screwing up everything.
okay well im tired now, i was just typing cuz i couldnt sleep. gnight sweet dreams! hope you have a good friday to start out a good weekend! love ya!
~aimée~