Fic: Untitled, Seven
The squealer squealed! The squealer squealed!!
I told you. I know them when I see them!
I told you!!
549 rounded up to tell their stories. And Harvey Dent, the little lion tamer. With a flip. And a coin.
Let the clown out of the box, let the clown out of the box. And then you’ll see who’s the ringmaster of this show.
It’s starting, it’s starting!
Get your popcorn and your cotton candy, bring the kiddies out to watch.
I’ve got balloons and grenades and peanuts for sale. Tell the neighbors the circus is in town!
Time for fireworks.
We’re going bat hunting tonight.
Now, it’s a little hard. We only want one. This bat works in a pack. With two, three others. A gang of flying rodents.
We only want one because people’re scared of one. They start thinking, “It could’ve been me.”
Oh yes. And it will be. It will. I promise you.
But not yet.
The pack, they’ve let Batman go to their heads.
So. Here’s the plan:
I know where they live. Pick one-the one with hockey pants.
We’re going to kill the neighbor’s dog and daughter.
And the bat comes out to play.
Don’t be afraid.
Shhh, quiet now.
Don’t be afraid.
Shhh, hush. Hush. Hush.
Now.
Tell me my name.
Are you the real Batman?
No? No? Then why aren’t you smiling? Why so serious?
Afraid? No, don’t be afraid. Don’t be afraid.
Be strange.
Be strange. Whatever doesn’t kill you, only makes you saner.
Look at me.
Look at me!
You see-this is how crazy you are on the inside. You want order and justice-take off your mask and face the abyss.
Oh, and every day you don’t, people will die.
Starting tonight.
I’m a man of my word.
Round them up to tell their stories. Judge Surillo is hearing all the stories.
Question: If I have no story, can anything I do be personal? Can any of the murders be meaningful to me?
Gotham provides. Names. Targets. Nametags.
It’s a job. They’ve let me loose.
I’m attacking the office, not the person. I’ve got nothing against Mrs. Surillo. Or the mayor. Or Mr. Loeb.
This is a job. I like it, but there’s nothing personal.
The only personal thing I have, is with you. A freak in reflection.
How else can you hear me speaking in your head?
Now Brian. You’re coming with me.
Want to know where we’re going?
To kill you? Oh no. I wouldn’t kill you in a slaughterhouse. That’s already been done. We need some originality.
Tell me, Brian. Can bats fly?
They can? If you’re a little bat man, can you fly?
You can’t? But why not? Have you ever tried?
You haven’t? Well, there’s a first time for everything. This is your big chance.
Hold still, Brian. Hold STILL. It’s just a little knife. A little smile. Shh, don’t cry, Brian. Don’t cry.
Better. Smile, Brian. Smile.
Oh, we’re almost there. Good.
Counting, clocking, clowning.
712 counts of extortion.
849 clocks of racketeering.
246 clowns of fraud.
87 counts of conspiracy/murder.
527 clocks of obstruction of justice.
My my my.
Let’s do some calculation.
That’s 2,421 counts total. There’s 549 clowns pooled together in this show. Comes out to 4.4098 crimes per criminal.
What did I say-this town deserves a better class of criminal.
4.4 crimes? That’s pathetic.
And only 87 counts of conspiracy/murder?
What was the Mob doing with all their time? Sitting on their hands?
I’ll give Gotham the show she deserves:
Two freaks. One city. Six acts.
Watch.
Now. You see that building?
Say yes, Brian.
Don’t shake your head. Say it.
Aw, I know it hurts. Are you afraid, Brian? Are you? Say it.
Look over there. That’s right. Do you know, who’s in that building?
No? What kind of citizen are you? That’s City Hall, Brian. City government.
The mayor’s office. That’s right.
What’m I going to do? That’s not the right question. What’re you going to do, Brian?
You don’t know? I have to do all the thinking around here.
Brian, you’re going to fly.
Not possible? Don’t worry. You’re still smiling. See? You’re smiling.
The mayor has a corner office. With a nice, open view of Gotham’s great municipal district. Near the courthouse. There’s lots of important people in there.
The message is in the medium. The plan is in the timing.
When Gotham delivers, she really delivers.
I didn’t know that Harvey and the mayor were having a meeting. I didn’t know that Gordon and the commissioner were in the building.
All I knew was that Judge Surillo ended proceedings for the Reco case. Storytime over. That’s all I knew.
Me? I was with Brian. Teaching him how to fly. Where were you?
Put on your makeup, Brian. No, not your mask. Not yet. Black goes around your eyes, like this. That’s it.
White goes on your face.
Your smile hurts when you touch it? It’s bleeding? That’s okay. White goes all over your face.
Why’re your hands shaking, Brian? Why’re you crying? It’s ruining your makeup. Stop crying.
Stop CRYING.
I’ll do the red. You can’t see your smile. But I’ve had lots of practice.
Now, let’s put this card on your costume. Don’t touch. There’s two messages. I want everyone to see.
It says, “Will the real Batman please stand up?”
“Please be aware. The image is disturbing.”
Disturbing. Disturbing. Are you disturbed?
“Tell them your name.”
I like my voice.
“Are you the real Batman?”
He really almost had me fooled.
“No? No? Then why do you dress up like him?”
That’s not fair. Pretending to be someone you’re not. That’s a crime.
“So you think Batman’s made Gotham a better place?”
I do. I really do.
“Look at me.”
He doesn’t want to look.
“Look at ME.”
The reveal!
“You see this is how crazy Batman’s made Gotham.”
And it’s a good thing. The best thing anyone’s ever done for Gotham.
“You want order in Gotham.”
I’ll give you order. I’ll give you a game.
“Batman must take off his mask”
Take off his mask and face the abyss
“take off his mask and turn himself in.”
Take off his mask and turn himself in. Into me.
“And every day he doesn’t, people will die.”
And when he does, people will keep dying.
“Starting tonight.”
The squealer squealed, the game’s revealed, starting tonight the rules are repealed.
“I’m a man of my word.”
Laughter laughing laughingly.
That turned out much better than I expected.
I should get an award.
Through the back door. Up the stairs.
What’s this? It’s rope, Brian. You didn’t think I’d let you fall, did you? What if you can’t fly? What if you just fall?
Let’s put your mask on now. It’s a very nice mask, Brian. You almost had me fooled.
All right. Time for the rope. Nice and tight. We don’t want you to fall through your mask. So nice and tight.
Brian. Such a captive audience. You like my jokes. I know-you’re smiling.
When I count to three, I want you to fly. Stand on the ledge.
One.
Two.
Three.