Insanity...In a Fun Way (Chapter 13)
Title: Insanity...In a Fun Way
Pairings: Yunjae, Yoosu and Changmin/OC
Genre: Angst, romance, drama, MPREG
Rating: From PG to NC-17
Summary: Utter chaos breaks out in Dong Bang Shin Ki when two of the band memebers are expecting children at the same time.
Warnings: Yeah, this is a Mpreg story. That means that two guys are going to get pregnant and have children. Got a problem with that idea? Oh well, just don't read. Remember, I did warn you that this was Mpreg, so try not to be too traumatized by what you see. As always, none of my rated scenes will be marked. So read at your own discretion. Thank you!
Chapters: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (12)
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Jaejoong shut the bathroom door behind him as he walked into the room, dark eyes scanning over the white interior. He wondered, for a moment, why they never bothered to get their rooms painted or decorated. Granted, they were hardly ever home, but it seemed like it would be better if their home actually felt like one.
Sighing, the lead vocalist padded over to the sink, his hands bracing against the counter as he stared at his reflection in the mirror.
“Get a hold of yourself, Jaejoong.” He growled at his reflection, his eyes narrowing in a sharp glare. His reflection imitated his actions.
“That’s right. Get tough!” He furrowed his brow and scrunched up his nose, offering a rather comical face to the mirror.
"Yeah, I’m an idiot.” He sighed as he realized what he was doing. Maybe he was going crazy…?
“That’s exactly what this group needs…a crazy Umma.” Jaejoong laughed slightly before leaning down and splashing cool water on his swollen eyes. He would have to let his eyes return to their normal color before he left the bathroom. It wasn’t like he didn’t look good after crying, he just didn’t want to deal with everyone staring and asking questions.
‘It’s probably because he knows how much I love you.’
Jaejoong shuddered slightly as Siwon’s words came back to him with force. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t seen Siwon’s affection for him. But he’d never imagined that it could be considered love. Love was just too strong a word.
With a sigh, he turned his eyes back towards the mirror, noticing that the red was beginning to be replaced with the usual milky-white.
“But is it really love?” He wondered to himself as he turned his back on the mirror and leaned against the counter, his expression thoughtful.
“I guess it might be…not everyone is like me…” He trailed off, his fingers tapping lightly against his lower lip. Jaejoong hadn’t been one to fall in love easily. Even though his band-mates would claim something different. Many of them didn’t know just how long it had taken Jaejoong to claim he loved Yunho.
Love was not a word to be used lightly with Kim Jaejoong. No, he attached great meaning to the tiny word, and wanted others to see it like he did. Love wasn’t just a vague inclination towards another person. It was the feeling of falling through the air but not fearing anything when you hit the ground because you knew that it would be soft and gentle…welcoming.
Maybe that wasn’t it exactly, but it oftentimes felt like Jaejoong was falling when he saw Yunho’s face.
A gentle knock echoed through the bathroom, startling the lithe male against the sink.
“Jaejoong? Can you hurry up? I really have to go to the bathroom!” A voice, maybe Eunhyuk, called form the other side of the door.
“Er, yeah, I’m done.” Jaejoong called as he turned to check his eyes in the mirror to make sure the redness had faded enough. He removed some water from his face with the back of his hand before moving to unlock the bathroom door.
“Sorry about that.” He muttered as he moved to the side to let a prancing Eunhyuk pass him.
“No probl-“ The bathroom door slammed shut, cutting off Eunhyuk’s words.
“Right.” Jaejoong laughed softly as he turned and padded back into the living room. His mind was still preoccupied with the events that had just passed; however, with so many close friends in the apartment, it was hard to focus on anything for too long.
“Jaejoong! You finally emerged! Where have you been? I looked in the kitchen and couldn’t find you.” Donghae pounced as soon as Jaejoong exited the hallway. The other males youthful face was filled with a look of happiness, a look Jaejoong just couldn’t help bet emulate.
“Ah, I do venture out of the kitchen ever few years or so, if you haven’t noticed.” Jaejoong fired at Donghae with a smirk before padding further into the living room, his dark eyes scanning over the group that was gathered there.
It seemed as if every open spot on the floor and couches was covered by a member of Super Junior or Dong Bang Shin Ki.
“Where am I supposed to sit?” Jaejoong grumbled softly as his dark eyes raked over Leeteuk, Kangin, Yesung, and Kibum squished onto the couch; Hankyung in the only other chair with Donghae claiming on the arm of the chair (more like in his lap); Siwon, Changmin, Shindong, Sungmin, Yoochun, Junsu, Ryeowook, and Kyuhyun had all taken up spots on the floor, legs stretched out to take up even more of the precious space.
Then Jaejoong spotted Heechul and Yunho off the corner of the room, shoulders pressed together as they whispered softly to each other, Heechul’s hand resting lightly on Yunho’s bloated stomach.
“Now wouldn’t be a good time to cause a scene, Jaejoong.” Siwon muttered as he pushed himself off the wall to pull Jaejoong back slightly.
“Heechul is all over Yunho!” Jaejoong protested, his eyes narrowing in a glare as he gestured towards the other man. He was incensed! Absolutely fuming that his husband would let that rat rub his stomach like that, or even touch him at all.
“Don’t kill the mood, Jaejoong.” Siwon pleaded, his grip tightening slightly as he tried to pull Jaejoong back further.
Jaejoong had been about to relax slightly; however, a split second before Jaejoong stopped struggling, Yunho glanced up, locking gazes with his husband for a second, his eyebrows arching as he shot the older male a dark look.
“That conniving jerk!” Jaejoong growled as he pulled away from Siwon, his hands clenched into fists at his side as he stalked forward to stand in front of Yunho.
“Something I can do for you, Jaejoong?” Yunho questioned coldly, not looking away from the television screen as he spoke.
“You can start by looking at me!” Jaejoong growled darkly, stepping in front of the TV so Yunho couldn’t see it any longer. “Then, you can come with me to another room.”
“Is everything alright, Jaejoong?” Heechul questioned lightly, his hand coming out to intertwine with Yunho’s slender fingers.
“No, it’s not.” Jaejoong growled as he glared harshly at Heechul’s hand. He wished he had some kind of super power at that moment, maybe control of fire so he could burn Heechul for touching Yunho.
At Jaejoong’s look, Heechul quickly drew away from Yunho, putting about a foot of space between their sitting forms.
“Right…” He breathed, casting a worried glance towards Siwon.
“If you have something you would like to say to me, Jaejoong, then say it here.” Yunho shot back in an icy voice, his eyes not leaving Jaejoong’s face as Heechul quickly slid away.
“Are you sure you want me to do that, Honey?” Jaejoong questioned, his tone mirroring the icy tenor of Yunho’s voice.
“Why not? I’m sure you wouldn’t be so rude as to bring up something in front of company, Jaejoong.” Yunho bit back, his eyebrows arching as he challenged his husband.
“Are you ordering me not to say anything, Yunho?” Jaejoong snapped, eyes narrowing as he planted his hands firmly on his hips. He wasn’t going to back away from this fight.
“When have you ever listened to me?” Yunho responded with a smoldering look of anger.
“Fine!” Jaejoong finally broke, shoulders heaving as he literally gasped from his anger, “I’ll tell you right here.” He motioned about the room, not noticing the sixteen pairs of eyes staring at him with wide-eyed shock.
“I want you to take your fucking hands off of my husband!” He growled darkly as he turned to glare down at Heechul, moving a step closer as he spoke.
“What?” Yunho growled, cutting in before Heechul had a chance to respond to Jaejoong’s words.
“What? Are you deaf now?” Jaejoong sneered as he turned dark eyes on Yunho. He was beyond angry. What right did Yunho have to be angry at him? He hadn’t done anything to deserve this!
“That’s enough, Jaejoong!” Yunho snapped as he stood from the floor, his tall frame towering over the shorter Jaejoong.
“You make it sound like I’m the one at fault here, Yunho.” Jaejoong growled, taking a step closer to Yunho in a subconscious show of bravery. Many men would have backed away at the sight of an angry Jung Yunho. Kim Jaejoong was unlike many men…or he was just stupid.
“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Yunho growled down at his smaller husband in a voice that showed he was anything but sorry, “I forgot that Siwon and you are allowed to grope each other in the kitchen. My bad.” Yunho snarled darkly, his voice rising into a slight yell.
Jaejoong felt his stomach drop at the same time as a boiling rage built within his chest. Yunho--his husband--was acting this way towards him because of what he’d seen in the kitchen? This double standard was beginning to rub on Jaejoong’s last nerve.
“At least I keep my groping away from the public eye, Yunho. Or are you and Heechul planning on letting everyone know of your loving affair soon?” Jaejoong growled, throwing out accusations that he knew to be wild and completely untrue. But Yunho had hurt him and he wanted to hurt the other male back.
The next thing Jaejoong knew, there was a blinding pain across the left side of his face, and he felt himself falling through the air for a brief moment before crashing down onto the hard flooring.
“Enough!” Yunho growled down at his husband, shaking fist still clenched stiffly at his side.
“You bastard!” Jaejoong growled as he picked himself up off the floor and move towards Yunho. He had every intention of giving Yunho a nice bruise on the left side of his face. Wouldn’t want to be the only one with a bruise.
“Jaejoong.” A voice growled as hands came out and gripped around his waist. “Think of the baby.” Siwon whispered into the smaller man’s ear, his arms constricting slightly as Jaejoong fought against his hold.
“The baby doesn’t matter if my husband is decided to run off with this slut!” Jaejoong growled, his words reverberating across the room, drawing shocked gasps from the other Super Junior members.
He didn’t know if his feeling of anger was from all those months ago when he’d found out Yunho was pregnant, or if this anger was simply because he was jealous of the attention his husband was smothering Heechul with. So many confusing emotions were racing around in his head, refusing to sit still long enough for him to really analyze them. The only thing his body would let him feel was anger.
“So the baby really doesn’t matter to you.” Yunho growled, his words a statement, as if some suspicion of his had been confirmed.
“I’ve been thinking about the way you act towards me now.” Yunho growled, his left hand coming out to roughly grab Jaejoong’s chin. “Are you jealous, Jaejoong? Jealous that I got what you wanted?” Yunho crooned darkly as he nuzzled his husband’s cheek. It wasn’t a soft and loving touch, it was meant to make Jaejoong feel all the pain of not being able to carry Yunho’s baby.
“You fucking bastard!” Jaejoong growled as he tried to jerk his arms out of Siwon’s grip.
“Let me go, Siwon! He deserves a good hit in the face.” Jaejoong snarled back at Siwon as he struggled against the iron grip, his shoulders leaning forward and his feet searching for traction against the carpet.
“If you hurt him, you will regret it, Jaejoong.” Siwon growled back as he pulled Jaejoong further away from Yunho.
“Remember how you told me you love him so much?” Siwon breathed, a sweat breaking out across the back of his neck as Jaejoong tripled his efforts to get away.
“I think I was wrong.” Jaejoong’s strained voice filled the room, his words breathy and tired as he focused his energy on getting away from Siwon.
“That’s a lie, Jaejoong. You know that you love him enough to turn me away, to stop me from spending my life pining for your love.” Siwon breathed into the older male’s ear as he pulled back a step towards Jaejoong’s bedroom. He had to get Jaejoong out of the room so he could calm down.
“Yunho stop it.” Changmin cut in, stepping in between Jaejoong and Yunho.
“Shut-up, Changmin.” Yunho growled darkly as he brought up a hand and roughly shoved the younger male away.
Changmin stumbled, tripping over someone’s feet before he went tumbling to the ground, his head connecting with the coffee table with a sharp thud.
The room froze as all eyes turned to stare at Changmin’s limp form. Everyone was too shocked, still unsure of what had actually happened.
Then the first cry broke out, coming from Sungmin as he launched himself across the room to kneel at Changmin’s side.
“Changmin?” He breathed, his hand smoothing over the younger males head as he searched for any signs of injury.
“Changmin…wake up.” The smaller male breathed in a slightly panicked voice, his eyes round with fear as he gently lifted Changmin’s head to cradle it in his arms.
“Let’s get him onto a bed.” Kangin jumped in, gesturing for Shindong, Siwon, and Hankyung to come and help him.
“One the count of three…” Kangin trailed off as all four of them leaned over to grip the unconscious male, “One…two…three.” There were a few grunts as Changmin was lifted off the ground and shuffled towards his bedroom.
Everyone followed after the four, worried whispers spreading across the group like a wildfire. The room emptied of everyone but Yunho and Jaejoong. The two males stood facing each other, eyes dark with their festering anger. The atmosphere buzzed with electricity as eyes narrowed and fists clenched in an attempt to gain some self-control.
“Is this what you wanted, Yunho?” Jaejoong breathed, his look of anger wavering slightly as feelings pain battled for the dominant spot within his body. Now that he had lost his intense anger, he found Yunho’s words and actions to be both physically and mentally painful.
“No, Jaejoong, this isn’t what I wanted!” Yunho snapped, his hands gesturing between the two of them. “I didn’t want to see my husband in the arms of another man, or to here that other man telling my husband how in love he is with him.”
“Nothing happened, Yunho.” Jaejoong didn’t know why he was arguing the point like he’d done something bad and was now trying to get Yunho’s forgiveness. Siwon had given him a hug and, yes, Jaejoong had found some small part of his mind wondering what it would be like to be with Siwon. But that could never induce him to even think of cheating on Yunho like that. The guilt and the pain would kill Jaejoong.
“It mattered to me, Jaejoong.” Yunho breathed, his voice losing its angry edge and his eyes dimming slightly.
“I’m still as insecure as I ever was, Jaejoong.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair as he turned watery eyes away from Jaejoong, “I still wake-up in the morning and check to make sure you haven’t slipped away in the middle of the night. I’m waiting for the moment when you fully understand the kind of idiot you got married to…” He trailed off, turning away from Jaejoong slightly as he tried to inconspicuously wipe away the tears in his eyes.
Jaejoong sighed softly at Yunho’s words. All of this anger and jealousy was because Yunho thought Jaejoong didn’t love him? He really was an idiot.
“Yah, why would you think I didn’t want to be with you?” Jaejoong questioned, a slightly hurt feeling washing over his body. Had he not done enough to prove his love for Yunho? Had he not shown just how devoted and addicted he was to the man standing in front of him?
“I don’t know why, Jaejoong.” Yunho whispered back, lifting red-tinted eyes to stare back at his husband.
“I know the kind of idiot I married, Yunho…I’m never going to regret walking down that isle and saying I do.” Jaejoong breathed as he closed the distance between himself and Yunho, hands coming out to rub Yunho’s shoulders soothingly. “I’ll always be there when you wake-up in the morning. Whether you’re throwing up or just getting out of bed, I’ll be there for you.” Jaejoong breathed as he moved behind Yunho and wrapped his arms around the younger males abdomen, his body fitting against the curve of Yunho’s back perfectly.
“What about Siwon?” Yunho questioned, his tense body relax at Jaejoong’s gentle touch. “Don’t you want to be with him?”
“You really are an idiot.” Jaejoong laughed softly, nuzzling Yunho’s shoulder.
“Please, Jaejoong…” Yunho trailed off as he removed Jaejoong’s hands and turned to look at his husband. “I know you’re angry that I’m the one having the baby, and I know that I’ve been a lot of trouble lately. How can you still love me?” The younger male looked down at the floor, seemingly unable to hold his small husband’s gaze.
“Do you really think my love is so fickle that I would simply run away when I don’t get everything I want?” Jaejoong questioned, reaching up and tilting Yunho’s face back towards him.
“Yes, I wanted the baby, and yes, you’ve been a lot of trouble lately. But Yunho,” Jaejoong paused and rubbed his husband’s cheek softly, “even with all of this, if I didn’t have you, there would be no happiness in my life…no joy or love. You give me everything I lack Yunho, you make me stronger and more capable to do the things I need to.” Jaejoong leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on Yunho’s cheek after he finished speaking, as if he wanted to show the truth of his words with actions.
“I’m sorry.” Yunho breathed as he reached out and rubbed the red mark on Jaejoong’s left cheek, “I shouldn’t have punched you…” He trailed off, his eyes locked on the red skin with a saddened look.
“I’ll just consider it payback for the time I punched you.” Jaejoong responded, holding back a wince as his husband’s fingers flickered over the sensitive and bruised skin.
“But Jaej-“
“Don’t, Yunho.” Jaejoong shushed him, shaking his head softly, “I’ve already forgiven you…” he trailed off as he heard voices floating from Changmin’s room, “I think there’s someone else you should apologize to.” He added in a murmur as he moved away from Yunho and made his way towards the Changmin's bedroom
“How is everything in here?” Jaejoong asked as he peered into Changmin’s room, smiling as he saw all of Super Junior crowded into the room, all of them hovering over the bed like worried mother hens.
“He hasn’t woken-up yet.” Sungmin breathed from his spot on the bed. The smaller male was sitting Indian-style on the bed, his legs folded beneath him as he held Changmin’s hand gently.
“Knowing Changmin…” Jaejoong trailed off as he walked further into the room, pressing past the fretting Super Junior members, “he’s probably milking it.” Jaejoong finished once he’d come to a stand-still beside Changmin’s bed.
“Why would he fake it?” Sungmin questioned in a slightly hurt tone, like he was offended on Changmin’s behalf.
Jaejoong let his gaze flicker to Sungmin, his eyebrows arching at the other males words.
“It’s Changmin, he’ll devour your sympathy if you offer the smallest bit. He’s a snake.”
“That is so not true!” Changmin growled as his eyes shot open and he turned a dark glare on Jaejoong.
“Just like I said. Milking it.” Jaejoong crossed his arms over his chest and turned a disapproving look down at Changmin.
“You were acting, Changmin?” The words echoed across the room as the stunned members of Super Junior realized they’d been duped.
“I just adored hearing your words of love and concern guys. How can you blame me for wanting to fully understand the loving concern of my hyungs?” Changmin responded in an innocent voice, his eyes shifting to every astonished face in the room.
“I was so worried.” Sungmin growled as he dropped Changmin’s hand and smacked him across the chest. “You’re such a jerk!” He pronounced as he crossed his arms, eyes still narrowed in a glare.
Changmin laughed slightly, lifting a hand incase Sungmin should decided to attack him again.
“I wasn’t acting in the beginning.” He defended, giving the room a pouting look, “I really did get knocked unconscious.”
“Sure.” Everyone chorused as they began to shuffle from the room.
“I can’t believe you don’t believe me!” Changmin whined, watching as people started to trickle out of the room till it was only him and Sungmin left.
“You’re such a jerk.” Sungmin muttered again, his body still situated on the bed, facing towards Changmin’s form.
“I believe you already told me that, Min.” Changmin countered as he lifted himself up on his elbows, wincing as slight pain washed over his head.
“Doesn’t mean I can’t repeat it.” Sungmin shot back, eyes flashing with concern at Changmin’s grimace.
“Are you sure you’re alright?” He breathed, small hands coming out to rest on Changmin’s shoulder.
“I’m fine, Sungmin.” Changmin laughed slightly as he managed to pull himself into a sitting position. He flashed Sungmin a smile, watching as a blush pooled on the boy’s cheeks.
“Why don’t you go out with the others?” He questioned softly, an uncomfortable feeling spreading over his body as he watching Sungmin shifting nervously on the bed.
“There was…uh…actually something I wanted to…talk to you about.” Sungmin began, his hands fidgeting nervously within his lap.
Changmin’s eyes flickered to Sungmin’s hands, his brow furrowing slightly as he shifted his gaze back towards the smaller boy. “Go ahead.” He responded softly, his voice sounding slightly wary.
“I think….I think I…” Sungmin trailed off, pulling in a shaking breath as he tried to calm himself down, “I think I like you, Changmin.” He let out in a gusty breath, his cheeks flaming with a blush as he looked anywhere but towards Changmin.
Changmin sat silently for a moment, sad eyes locked on Sungmin’s small body.
“I-I know you’re not gay, Changmin.” The other boy quickly added, seeming to take Changmin’s silence as one of disgust. “I just wanted to tell you…b-because I don’t want to regret having never told you.” His head hung at those words, black locks falling around his cheeks slightly.
Changmin sat in silence for a moment longer, eyes soft as he reached out and grasped Sungmin’s hand within his own. He smiled softly as Sungmin’s head shot up with a surprised gasp.
“C-Changmin…?” He seemed uncertain, his voice quavering slightly as he stared into Changmin’s eyes with his own wide ones.
Changmin didn’t respond to Sungmin’s words. He simply leaned forward, closing the distance between them till their lips met in a gentle kiss.
Sungmin flinched at first, his eyes opening even wider as his mind scrambled to gain control of his frozen limbs. This was what he had wanted; what he had dreamed of for so long now. How could this be true?
With a sigh through his nose, Sungmin let his eyes flutter shut and slowly parted his lips to return the kiss. Changmin’s soft yet firm lips pressing against his own sent a shiver through his entire body, and he soon found his hands running lightly along Changmin’s shoulders.
“Sungmin.” Changmin breathed as he gently leaned away, taking Sungmin’s hands off of his shoulders. “I like you. I’ve always liked you…” He started slowly, his fingers still intertwined with Sungmin’s smaller ones.
“But I left my heart with someone else five years ago. I don’t have anything I can give you. I wouldn’t be able to love you, Sungmin. And in the end I would only end up hurting you badly.” Changmin breathed softly, pain jabbing into his gut as he saw the look of hurt whispering over Sungmin’s youthful face.
“I-I don’t need all of your heart, Changmin!” He pleaded softly, his hands tightening around Changmin’s as if they were his last link to the other boy.
“That may be so now, Sungmin, but give it a few months, and you wouldn’t be happy with the sad bit of love that I might be able to give you.” Changmin responded softly, his thumb stroking softly over the bag of Sungmin’s smooth hand.
“Who did you give your heart to?” Sungmin suddenly asked, looking down at the bedspread to hide his watery eyes.
“A boy I went to high-school with…” Changmin trailed off, warm brown eyes softening as he stared at Sungmin.
“Tell me about him.” Sungmin breathed, turning dark eyes to meet Changmin’s gaze.
“His name was Park Haneul, he’s a year younger than me. We both had an English class together.”
“If he was a younger than you, then how did you have a class together?” Sungmin cut in, his brow furrowing with slightly confusion.
“He used to live in America, so they let him move up a level in English.” Changmin explained with a slight smile. Even if he couldn’t give Sungmin his love, he certainly had a deep affection for the smaller boy. He reminded him of Haneul in some ways, and it warmed Changmin’s heart every time he saw the boy. He couldn’t get into a relationship with Sungmin and risk hurting him.
“Anyway, I was flunking English at the time, so I asked for him to tutor me. He was a shy and abused. He didn’t have the confidence to look anyone in the eye. Believe it or not, he claimed I was the first person to every be nice to him. Somehow, I doubt that, but I don’t doubt that I was the first person he every loved or that loved him back.
“In the beginning, I was totally oblivious to his feelings for me, and even after I started to find myself drawn to him, I simply told myself that I liked him like a younger brother…” Changmin trailed off, his heart warming as he remembered his times with Haneul.
“When did you confess to him?” Sungmin asked in a whisper, seeming totally absorbed in the story.
“He actually confessed to me first…” Changmin trailed off, a laugh following his words. “It wasn’t really a confession in the strictest sense of the word. It was more like an admission. He told me that he was dirty and unlovable and that I should get away from him before he dragged me down with his broken love. ..or something along those lines.”
“That’s really sad.” Sungmin added, shaking his head softly as he tried to imagine what Changmin’s lover had been like.
“What happened after that?” He prompted, eyes large with interest.
Changmin turned slightly distracted eyes towards Sungmin, a look of pain residing with his pupil, “Fate happened, Sungmin.” Changmin responded as he gaze a squeeze to the smaller hands within his own.
“Why did you end it?”
“We never actually ended it. We just said that we would go out and do the things we’d always wanted to, or had to do, and then, when the time was right, we would find each other again.” Changmin sighed, fighting back the waves of emotions that were pressing in on his heart.
“Aren’t you afraid that he found someone else?”
“I don’t think that would happen. But if he truly found someone that would love and take care of him, then I would let him go to live a happy life.” Changmin responded quietly, wondering if he would really be capable of doing that. How could he simply let go of the strongest emotion he’d ever felt? How could he throw away the years of happiness he'd spent with Haneul in his arms?
“Don’t you think he would want you to move on?” Sungmin questioned softly, his gaze dropping away from Changmin and into his lap.
“He probably would. But I don’t want to move on.” Changmin responded softly, bending his head slightly as he tried to catch Sungmin’s gaze.
“I’m sorry that I can’t give you the answer you want , Sungmin.” He breathed as he detangled one of his hands so he could tilt Sungmin’s face back towards him.
“I’d be lying if I said I don’t have some kind of feelings for you, but it’s not enough to build a relationship on. At least, not a good one.” Changmin breathed before gently leaning in a placing the smallest kiss on Sungmin’s full lips.
“I understand, Changmin-ah.” He breathed after the kiss, struggling against the tears he felt filling his eyes.
“It’s okay.”
“You don’t have to stay with me, Sungmin.” Changmin added after a small pause, his heart constricting as he watched Sungmin struggle with his emotions.
“Why don’t we go find something to eat, Changmin?” Sungmin questioned brightly, turning a look of mock-cheer towards Changmin before he unfolded his legs and climbed down from the bed.
“Sungmin…” Changmin sighed as he stood from the bed and reached out to pull the smaller boy’s back against his chest, “I can see the hurt in your eyes.” He whispered as he wrapped his arms around Sungmin’s small waist.
“I’ll be okay…” Sungmin trailed off, his mouth still open as if the words had simply died away on his lips.
Not seconds later, a sob broke from his body and he turned in Changmin’s arms to sob into the other’s chest.
Changmin sighed and ran soothing patterns down Sungmin’s back, his heart constricted with pain for the smaller boy’s suffering. He wished that he could simply make Sungmin’s feelings go away, so he could make the smaller boy’s pain disappear, too. He didn’t want someone to suffer because of him.
“It’s going to be alright.” He breathed softly as he rocked Sungmin back and forth slightly. He hoped that everything would be okay between them in the end.
Pairings: Yunjae, Yoosu and Changmin/OC
Genre: Angst, romance, drama, MPREG
Rating: From PG to NC-17
Summary: Utter chaos breaks out in Dong Bang Shin Ki when two of the band memebers are expecting children at the same time.
Warnings: Yeah, this is a Mpreg story. That means that two guys are going to get pregnant and have children. Got a problem with that idea? Oh well, just don't read. Remember, I did warn you that this was Mpreg, so try not to be too traumatized by what you see. As always, none of my rated scenes will be marked. So read at your own discretion. Thank you!
Chapters: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (12)
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Jaejoong shut the bathroom door behind him as he walked into the room, dark eyes scanning over the white interior. He wondered, for a moment, why they never bothered to get their rooms painted or decorated. Granted, they were hardly ever home, but it seemed like it would be better if their home actually felt like one.
Sighing, the lead vocalist padded over to the sink, his hands bracing against the counter as he stared at his reflection in the mirror.
“Get a hold of yourself, Jaejoong.” He growled at his reflection, his eyes narrowing in a sharp glare. His reflection imitated his actions.
“That’s right. Get tough!” He furrowed his brow and scrunched up his nose, offering a rather comical face to the mirror.
"Yeah, I’m an idiot.” He sighed as he realized what he was doing. Maybe he was going crazy…?
“That’s exactly what this group needs…a crazy Umma.” Jaejoong laughed slightly before leaning down and splashing cool water on his swollen eyes. He would have to let his eyes return to their normal color before he left the bathroom. It wasn’t like he didn’t look good after crying, he just didn’t want to deal with everyone staring and asking questions.
‘It’s probably because he knows how much I love you.’
Jaejoong shuddered slightly as Siwon’s words came back to him with force. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t seen Siwon’s affection for him. But he’d never imagined that it could be considered love. Love was just too strong a word.
With a sigh, he turned his eyes back towards the mirror, noticing that the red was beginning to be replaced with the usual milky-white.
“But is it really love?” He wondered to himself as he turned his back on the mirror and leaned against the counter, his expression thoughtful.
“I guess it might be…not everyone is like me…” He trailed off, his fingers tapping lightly against his lower lip. Jaejoong hadn’t been one to fall in love easily. Even though his band-mates would claim something different. Many of them didn’t know just how long it had taken Jaejoong to claim he loved Yunho.
Love was not a word to be used lightly with Kim Jaejoong. No, he attached great meaning to the tiny word, and wanted others to see it like he did. Love wasn’t just a vague inclination towards another person. It was the feeling of falling through the air but not fearing anything when you hit the ground because you knew that it would be soft and gentle…welcoming.
Maybe that wasn’t it exactly, but it oftentimes felt like Jaejoong was falling when he saw Yunho’s face.
A gentle knock echoed through the bathroom, startling the lithe male against the sink.
“Jaejoong? Can you hurry up? I really have to go to the bathroom!” A voice, maybe Eunhyuk, called form the other side of the door.
“Er, yeah, I’m done.” Jaejoong called as he turned to check his eyes in the mirror to make sure the redness had faded enough. He removed some water from his face with the back of his hand before moving to unlock the bathroom door.
“Sorry about that.” He muttered as he moved to the side to let a prancing Eunhyuk pass him.
“No probl-“ The bathroom door slammed shut, cutting off Eunhyuk’s words.
“Right.” Jaejoong laughed softly as he turned and padded back into the living room. His mind was still preoccupied with the events that had just passed; however, with so many close friends in the apartment, it was hard to focus on anything for too long.
“Jaejoong! You finally emerged! Where have you been? I looked in the kitchen and couldn’t find you.” Donghae pounced as soon as Jaejoong exited the hallway. The other males youthful face was filled with a look of happiness, a look Jaejoong just couldn’t help bet emulate.
“Ah, I do venture out of the kitchen ever few years or so, if you haven’t noticed.” Jaejoong fired at Donghae with a smirk before padding further into the living room, his dark eyes scanning over the group that was gathered there.
It seemed as if every open spot on the floor and couches was covered by a member of Super Junior or Dong Bang Shin Ki.
“Where am I supposed to sit?” Jaejoong grumbled softly as his dark eyes raked over Leeteuk, Kangin, Yesung, and Kibum squished onto the couch; Hankyung in the only other chair with Donghae claiming on the arm of the chair (more like in his lap); Siwon, Changmin, Shindong, Sungmin, Yoochun, Junsu, Ryeowook, and Kyuhyun had all taken up spots on the floor, legs stretched out to take up even more of the precious space.
Then Jaejoong spotted Heechul and Yunho off the corner of the room, shoulders pressed together as they whispered softly to each other, Heechul’s hand resting lightly on Yunho’s bloated stomach.
“Now wouldn’t be a good time to cause a scene, Jaejoong.” Siwon muttered as he pushed himself off the wall to pull Jaejoong back slightly.
“Heechul is all over Yunho!” Jaejoong protested, his eyes narrowing in a glare as he gestured towards the other man. He was incensed! Absolutely fuming that his husband would let that rat rub his stomach like that, or even touch him at all.
“Don’t kill the mood, Jaejoong.” Siwon pleaded, his grip tightening slightly as he tried to pull Jaejoong back further.
Jaejoong had been about to relax slightly; however, a split second before Jaejoong stopped struggling, Yunho glanced up, locking gazes with his husband for a second, his eyebrows arching as he shot the older male a dark look.
“That conniving jerk!” Jaejoong growled as he pulled away from Siwon, his hands clenched into fists at his side as he stalked forward to stand in front of Yunho.
“Something I can do for you, Jaejoong?” Yunho questioned coldly, not looking away from the television screen as he spoke.
“You can start by looking at me!” Jaejoong growled darkly, stepping in front of the TV so Yunho couldn’t see it any longer. “Then, you can come with me to another room.”
“Is everything alright, Jaejoong?” Heechul questioned lightly, his hand coming out to intertwine with Yunho’s slender fingers.
“No, it’s not.” Jaejoong growled as he glared harshly at Heechul’s hand. He wished he had some kind of super power at that moment, maybe control of fire so he could burn Heechul for touching Yunho.
At Jaejoong’s look, Heechul quickly drew away from Yunho, putting about a foot of space between their sitting forms.
“Right…” He breathed, casting a worried glance towards Siwon.
“If you have something you would like to say to me, Jaejoong, then say it here.” Yunho shot back in an icy voice, his eyes not leaving Jaejoong’s face as Heechul quickly slid away.
“Are you sure you want me to do that, Honey?” Jaejoong questioned, his tone mirroring the icy tenor of Yunho’s voice.
“Why not? I’m sure you wouldn’t be so rude as to bring up something in front of company, Jaejoong.” Yunho bit back, his eyebrows arching as he challenged his husband.
“Are you ordering me not to say anything, Yunho?” Jaejoong snapped, eyes narrowing as he planted his hands firmly on his hips. He wasn’t going to back away from this fight.
“When have you ever listened to me?” Yunho responded with a smoldering look of anger.
“Fine!” Jaejoong finally broke, shoulders heaving as he literally gasped from his anger, “I’ll tell you right here.” He motioned about the room, not noticing the sixteen pairs of eyes staring at him with wide-eyed shock.
“I want you to take your fucking hands off of my husband!” He growled darkly as he turned to glare down at Heechul, moving a step closer as he spoke.
“What?” Yunho growled, cutting in before Heechul had a chance to respond to Jaejoong’s words.
“What? Are you deaf now?” Jaejoong sneered as he turned dark eyes on Yunho. He was beyond angry. What right did Yunho have to be angry at him? He hadn’t done anything to deserve this!
“That’s enough, Jaejoong!” Yunho snapped as he stood from the floor, his tall frame towering over the shorter Jaejoong.
“You make it sound like I’m the one at fault here, Yunho.” Jaejoong growled, taking a step closer to Yunho in a subconscious show of bravery. Many men would have backed away at the sight of an angry Jung Yunho. Kim Jaejoong was unlike many men…or he was just stupid.
“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Yunho growled down at his smaller husband in a voice that showed he was anything but sorry, “I forgot that Siwon and you are allowed to grope each other in the kitchen. My bad.” Yunho snarled darkly, his voice rising into a slight yell.
Jaejoong felt his stomach drop at the same time as a boiling rage built within his chest. Yunho--his husband--was acting this way towards him because of what he’d seen in the kitchen? This double standard was beginning to rub on Jaejoong’s last nerve.
“At least I keep my groping away from the public eye, Yunho. Or are you and Heechul planning on letting everyone know of your loving affair soon?” Jaejoong growled, throwing out accusations that he knew to be wild and completely untrue. But Yunho had hurt him and he wanted to hurt the other male back.
The next thing Jaejoong knew, there was a blinding pain across the left side of his face, and he felt himself falling through the air for a brief moment before crashing down onto the hard flooring.
“Enough!” Yunho growled down at his husband, shaking fist still clenched stiffly at his side.
“You bastard!” Jaejoong growled as he picked himself up off the floor and move towards Yunho. He had every intention of giving Yunho a nice bruise on the left side of his face. Wouldn’t want to be the only one with a bruise.
“Jaejoong.” A voice growled as hands came out and gripped around his waist. “Think of the baby.” Siwon whispered into the smaller man’s ear, his arms constricting slightly as Jaejoong fought against his hold.
“The baby doesn’t matter if my husband is decided to run off with this slut!” Jaejoong growled, his words reverberating across the room, drawing shocked gasps from the other Super Junior members.
He didn’t know if his feeling of anger was from all those months ago when he’d found out Yunho was pregnant, or if this anger was simply because he was jealous of the attention his husband was smothering Heechul with. So many confusing emotions were racing around in his head, refusing to sit still long enough for him to really analyze them. The only thing his body would let him feel was anger.
“So the baby really doesn’t matter to you.” Yunho growled, his words a statement, as if some suspicion of his had been confirmed.
“I’ve been thinking about the way you act towards me now.” Yunho growled, his left hand coming out to roughly grab Jaejoong’s chin. “Are you jealous, Jaejoong? Jealous that I got what you wanted?” Yunho crooned darkly as he nuzzled his husband’s cheek. It wasn’t a soft and loving touch, it was meant to make Jaejoong feel all the pain of not being able to carry Yunho’s baby.
“You fucking bastard!” Jaejoong growled as he tried to jerk his arms out of Siwon’s grip.
“Let me go, Siwon! He deserves a good hit in the face.” Jaejoong snarled back at Siwon as he struggled against the iron grip, his shoulders leaning forward and his feet searching for traction against the carpet.
“If you hurt him, you will regret it, Jaejoong.” Siwon growled back as he pulled Jaejoong further away from Yunho.
“Remember how you told me you love him so much?” Siwon breathed, a sweat breaking out across the back of his neck as Jaejoong tripled his efforts to get away.
“I think I was wrong.” Jaejoong’s strained voice filled the room, his words breathy and tired as he focused his energy on getting away from Siwon.
“That’s a lie, Jaejoong. You know that you love him enough to turn me away, to stop me from spending my life pining for your love.” Siwon breathed into the older male’s ear as he pulled back a step towards Jaejoong’s bedroom. He had to get Jaejoong out of the room so he could calm down.
“Yunho stop it.” Changmin cut in, stepping in between Jaejoong and Yunho.
“Shut-up, Changmin.” Yunho growled darkly as he brought up a hand and roughly shoved the younger male away.
Changmin stumbled, tripping over someone’s feet before he went tumbling to the ground, his head connecting with the coffee table with a sharp thud.
The room froze as all eyes turned to stare at Changmin’s limp form. Everyone was too shocked, still unsure of what had actually happened.
Then the first cry broke out, coming from Sungmin as he launched himself across the room to kneel at Changmin’s side.
“Changmin?” He breathed, his hand smoothing over the younger males head as he searched for any signs of injury.
“Changmin…wake up.” The smaller male breathed in a slightly panicked voice, his eyes round with fear as he gently lifted Changmin’s head to cradle it in his arms.
“Let’s get him onto a bed.” Kangin jumped in, gesturing for Shindong, Siwon, and Hankyung to come and help him.
“One the count of three…” Kangin trailed off as all four of them leaned over to grip the unconscious male, “One…two…three.” There were a few grunts as Changmin was lifted off the ground and shuffled towards his bedroom.
Everyone followed after the four, worried whispers spreading across the group like a wildfire. The room emptied of everyone but Yunho and Jaejoong. The two males stood facing each other, eyes dark with their festering anger. The atmosphere buzzed with electricity as eyes narrowed and fists clenched in an attempt to gain some self-control.
“Is this what you wanted, Yunho?” Jaejoong breathed, his look of anger wavering slightly as feelings pain battled for the dominant spot within his body. Now that he had lost his intense anger, he found Yunho’s words and actions to be both physically and mentally painful.
“No, Jaejoong, this isn’t what I wanted!” Yunho snapped, his hands gesturing between the two of them. “I didn’t want to see my husband in the arms of another man, or to here that other man telling my husband how in love he is with him.”
“Nothing happened, Yunho.” Jaejoong didn’t know why he was arguing the point like he’d done something bad and was now trying to get Yunho’s forgiveness. Siwon had given him a hug and, yes, Jaejoong had found some small part of his mind wondering what it would be like to be with Siwon. But that could never induce him to even think of cheating on Yunho like that. The guilt and the pain would kill Jaejoong.
“It mattered to me, Jaejoong.” Yunho breathed, his voice losing its angry edge and his eyes dimming slightly.
“I’m still as insecure as I ever was, Jaejoong.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair as he turned watery eyes away from Jaejoong, “I still wake-up in the morning and check to make sure you haven’t slipped away in the middle of the night. I’m waiting for the moment when you fully understand the kind of idiot you got married to…” He trailed off, turning away from Jaejoong slightly as he tried to inconspicuously wipe away the tears in his eyes.
Jaejoong sighed softly at Yunho’s words. All of this anger and jealousy was because Yunho thought Jaejoong didn’t love him? He really was an idiot.
“Yah, why would you think I didn’t want to be with you?” Jaejoong questioned, a slightly hurt feeling washing over his body. Had he not done enough to prove his love for Yunho? Had he not shown just how devoted and addicted he was to the man standing in front of him?
“I don’t know why, Jaejoong.” Yunho whispered back, lifting red-tinted eyes to stare back at his husband.
“I know the kind of idiot I married, Yunho…I’m never going to regret walking down that isle and saying I do.” Jaejoong breathed as he closed the distance between himself and Yunho, hands coming out to rub Yunho’s shoulders soothingly. “I’ll always be there when you wake-up in the morning. Whether you’re throwing up or just getting out of bed, I’ll be there for you.” Jaejoong breathed as he moved behind Yunho and wrapped his arms around the younger males abdomen, his body fitting against the curve of Yunho’s back perfectly.
“What about Siwon?” Yunho questioned, his tense body relax at Jaejoong’s gentle touch. “Don’t you want to be with him?”
“You really are an idiot.” Jaejoong laughed softly, nuzzling Yunho’s shoulder.
“Please, Jaejoong…” Yunho trailed off as he removed Jaejoong’s hands and turned to look at his husband. “I know you’re angry that I’m the one having the baby, and I know that I’ve been a lot of trouble lately. How can you still love me?” The younger male looked down at the floor, seemingly unable to hold his small husband’s gaze.
“Do you really think my love is so fickle that I would simply run away when I don’t get everything I want?” Jaejoong questioned, reaching up and tilting Yunho’s face back towards him.
“Yes, I wanted the baby, and yes, you’ve been a lot of trouble lately. But Yunho,” Jaejoong paused and rubbed his husband’s cheek softly, “even with all of this, if I didn’t have you, there would be no happiness in my life…no joy or love. You give me everything I lack Yunho, you make me stronger and more capable to do the things I need to.” Jaejoong leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on Yunho’s cheek after he finished speaking, as if he wanted to show the truth of his words with actions.
“I’m sorry.” Yunho breathed as he reached out and rubbed the red mark on Jaejoong’s left cheek, “I shouldn’t have punched you…” He trailed off, his eyes locked on the red skin with a saddened look.
“I’ll just consider it payback for the time I punched you.” Jaejoong responded, holding back a wince as his husband’s fingers flickered over the sensitive and bruised skin.
“But Jaej-“
“Don’t, Yunho.” Jaejoong shushed him, shaking his head softly, “I’ve already forgiven you…” he trailed off as he heard voices floating from Changmin’s room, “I think there’s someone else you should apologize to.” He added in a murmur as he moved away from Yunho and made his way towards the Changmin's bedroom
“How is everything in here?” Jaejoong asked as he peered into Changmin’s room, smiling as he saw all of Super Junior crowded into the room, all of them hovering over the bed like worried mother hens.
“He hasn’t woken-up yet.” Sungmin breathed from his spot on the bed. The smaller male was sitting Indian-style on the bed, his legs folded beneath him as he held Changmin’s hand gently.
“Knowing Changmin…” Jaejoong trailed off as he walked further into the room, pressing past the fretting Super Junior members, “he’s probably milking it.” Jaejoong finished once he’d come to a stand-still beside Changmin’s bed.
“Why would he fake it?” Sungmin questioned in a slightly hurt tone, like he was offended on Changmin’s behalf.
Jaejoong let his gaze flicker to Sungmin, his eyebrows arching at the other males words.
“It’s Changmin, he’ll devour your sympathy if you offer the smallest bit. He’s a snake.”
“That is so not true!” Changmin growled as his eyes shot open and he turned a dark glare on Jaejoong.
“Just like I said. Milking it.” Jaejoong crossed his arms over his chest and turned a disapproving look down at Changmin.
“You were acting, Changmin?” The words echoed across the room as the stunned members of Super Junior realized they’d been duped.
“I just adored hearing your words of love and concern guys. How can you blame me for wanting to fully understand the loving concern of my hyungs?” Changmin responded in an innocent voice, his eyes shifting to every astonished face in the room.
“I was so worried.” Sungmin growled as he dropped Changmin’s hand and smacked him across the chest. “You’re such a jerk!” He pronounced as he crossed his arms, eyes still narrowed in a glare.
Changmin laughed slightly, lifting a hand incase Sungmin should decided to attack him again.
“I wasn’t acting in the beginning.” He defended, giving the room a pouting look, “I really did get knocked unconscious.”
“Sure.” Everyone chorused as they began to shuffle from the room.
“I can’t believe you don’t believe me!” Changmin whined, watching as people started to trickle out of the room till it was only him and Sungmin left.
“You’re such a jerk.” Sungmin muttered again, his body still situated on the bed, facing towards Changmin’s form.
“I believe you already told me that, Min.” Changmin countered as he lifted himself up on his elbows, wincing as slight pain washed over his head.
“Doesn’t mean I can’t repeat it.” Sungmin shot back, eyes flashing with concern at Changmin’s grimace.
“Are you sure you’re alright?” He breathed, small hands coming out to rest on Changmin’s shoulder.
“I’m fine, Sungmin.” Changmin laughed slightly as he managed to pull himself into a sitting position. He flashed Sungmin a smile, watching as a blush pooled on the boy’s cheeks.
“Why don’t you go out with the others?” He questioned softly, an uncomfortable feeling spreading over his body as he watching Sungmin shifting nervously on the bed.
“There was…uh…actually something I wanted to…talk to you about.” Sungmin began, his hands fidgeting nervously within his lap.
Changmin’s eyes flickered to Sungmin’s hands, his brow furrowing slightly as he shifted his gaze back towards the smaller boy. “Go ahead.” He responded softly, his voice sounding slightly wary.
“I think….I think I…” Sungmin trailed off, pulling in a shaking breath as he tried to calm himself down, “I think I like you, Changmin.” He let out in a gusty breath, his cheeks flaming with a blush as he looked anywhere but towards Changmin.
Changmin sat silently for a moment, sad eyes locked on Sungmin’s small body.
“I-I know you’re not gay, Changmin.” The other boy quickly added, seeming to take Changmin’s silence as one of disgust. “I just wanted to tell you…b-because I don’t want to regret having never told you.” His head hung at those words, black locks falling around his cheeks slightly.
Changmin sat in silence for a moment longer, eyes soft as he reached out and grasped Sungmin’s hand within his own. He smiled softly as Sungmin’s head shot up with a surprised gasp.
“C-Changmin…?” He seemed uncertain, his voice quavering slightly as he stared into Changmin’s eyes with his own wide ones.
Changmin didn’t respond to Sungmin’s words. He simply leaned forward, closing the distance between them till their lips met in a gentle kiss.
Sungmin flinched at first, his eyes opening even wider as his mind scrambled to gain control of his frozen limbs. This was what he had wanted; what he had dreamed of for so long now. How could this be true?
With a sigh through his nose, Sungmin let his eyes flutter shut and slowly parted his lips to return the kiss. Changmin’s soft yet firm lips pressing against his own sent a shiver through his entire body, and he soon found his hands running lightly along Changmin’s shoulders.
“Sungmin.” Changmin breathed as he gently leaned away, taking Sungmin’s hands off of his shoulders. “I like you. I’ve always liked you…” He started slowly, his fingers still intertwined with Sungmin’s smaller ones.
“But I left my heart with someone else five years ago. I don’t have anything I can give you. I wouldn’t be able to love you, Sungmin. And in the end I would only end up hurting you badly.” Changmin breathed softly, pain jabbing into his gut as he saw the look of hurt whispering over Sungmin’s youthful face.
“I-I don’t need all of your heart, Changmin!” He pleaded softly, his hands tightening around Changmin’s as if they were his last link to the other boy.
“That may be so now, Sungmin, but give it a few months, and you wouldn’t be happy with the sad bit of love that I might be able to give you.” Changmin responded softly, his thumb stroking softly over the bag of Sungmin’s smooth hand.
“Who did you give your heart to?” Sungmin suddenly asked, looking down at the bedspread to hide his watery eyes.
“A boy I went to high-school with…” Changmin trailed off, warm brown eyes softening as he stared at Sungmin.
“Tell me about him.” Sungmin breathed, turning dark eyes to meet Changmin’s gaze.
“His name was Park Haneul, he’s a year younger than me. We both had an English class together.”
“If he was a younger than you, then how did you have a class together?” Sungmin cut in, his brow furrowing with slightly confusion.
“He used to live in America, so they let him move up a level in English.” Changmin explained with a slight smile. Even if he couldn’t give Sungmin his love, he certainly had a deep affection for the smaller boy. He reminded him of Haneul in some ways, and it warmed Changmin’s heart every time he saw the boy. He couldn’t get into a relationship with Sungmin and risk hurting him.
“Anyway, I was flunking English at the time, so I asked for him to tutor me. He was a shy and abused. He didn’t have the confidence to look anyone in the eye. Believe it or not, he claimed I was the first person to every be nice to him. Somehow, I doubt that, but I don’t doubt that I was the first person he every loved or that loved him back.
“In the beginning, I was totally oblivious to his feelings for me, and even after I started to find myself drawn to him, I simply told myself that I liked him like a younger brother…” Changmin trailed off, his heart warming as he remembered his times with Haneul.
“When did you confess to him?” Sungmin asked in a whisper, seeming totally absorbed in the story.
“He actually confessed to me first…” Changmin trailed off, a laugh following his words. “It wasn’t really a confession in the strictest sense of the word. It was more like an admission. He told me that he was dirty and unlovable and that I should get away from him before he dragged me down with his broken love. ..or something along those lines.”
“That’s really sad.” Sungmin added, shaking his head softly as he tried to imagine what Changmin’s lover had been like.
“What happened after that?” He prompted, eyes large with interest.
Changmin turned slightly distracted eyes towards Sungmin, a look of pain residing with his pupil, “Fate happened, Sungmin.” Changmin responded as he gaze a squeeze to the smaller hands within his own.
“Why did you end it?”
“We never actually ended it. We just said that we would go out and do the things we’d always wanted to, or had to do, and then, when the time was right, we would find each other again.” Changmin sighed, fighting back the waves of emotions that were pressing in on his heart.
“Aren’t you afraid that he found someone else?”
“I don’t think that would happen. But if he truly found someone that would love and take care of him, then I would let him go to live a happy life.” Changmin responded quietly, wondering if he would really be capable of doing that. How could he simply let go of the strongest emotion he’d ever felt? How could he throw away the years of happiness he'd spent with Haneul in his arms?
“Don’t you think he would want you to move on?” Sungmin questioned softly, his gaze dropping away from Changmin and into his lap.
“He probably would. But I don’t want to move on.” Changmin responded softly, bending his head slightly as he tried to catch Sungmin’s gaze.
“I’m sorry that I can’t give you the answer you want , Sungmin.” He breathed as he detangled one of his hands so he could tilt Sungmin’s face back towards him.
“I’d be lying if I said I don’t have some kind of feelings for you, but it’s not enough to build a relationship on. At least, not a good one.” Changmin breathed before gently leaning in a placing the smallest kiss on Sungmin’s full lips.
“I understand, Changmin-ah.” He breathed after the kiss, struggling against the tears he felt filling his eyes.
“It’s okay.”
“You don’t have to stay with me, Sungmin.” Changmin added after a small pause, his heart constricting as he watched Sungmin struggle with his emotions.
“Why don’t we go find something to eat, Changmin?” Sungmin questioned brightly, turning a look of mock-cheer towards Changmin before he unfolded his legs and climbed down from the bed.
“Sungmin…” Changmin sighed as he stood from the bed and reached out to pull the smaller boy’s back against his chest, “I can see the hurt in your eyes.” He whispered as he wrapped his arms around Sungmin’s small waist.
“I’ll be okay…” Sungmin trailed off, his mouth still open as if the words had simply died away on his lips.
Not seconds later, a sob broke from his body and he turned in Changmin’s arms to sob into the other’s chest.
Changmin sighed and ran soothing patterns down Sungmin’s back, his heart constricted with pain for the smaller boy’s suffering. He wished that he could simply make Sungmin’s feelings go away, so he could make the smaller boy’s pain disappear, too. He didn’t want someone to suffer because of him.
“It’s going to be alright.” He breathed softly as he rocked Sungmin back and forth slightly. He hoped that everything would be okay between them in the end.