Life as I know it...
Life as I know it is progressing. You know that saying that says "The clock waits for no one"... Well it,in fact,is true. I turned 21 this year and I should have been almost done with College. Ever since I could remember I've hated school. Only because it has never been alluring to me. In reality my only struggle is with math. UGH! How much I hate it...
Anyhow, I had a "hands-on" experience, this past weekend which brought my vain and vanity to it's humbling point. Why have I always allowed my self to be... NOT skinny? I've always wanted to be model skinny, and I've always settled with me being average. REALITY check... The guy that has fallen in love with me & vis versa, has the bod of a god! & Me... Ugh! Not cool. That will change.
So I went to his Comp this past weekend, My goodness is he Hot like Fire. And to be honest with you... I will settle for "average", no longer. I have a bet with a mutual friend of ours, on me being able to lose 20 pounds in 2 months. I so can do it. I just can't cheat... and I have to work out. But not just work out... but WORK OUT HARD.
I know I can do it... I did it when I was with "what's his face". Plus, this has to be like a way of life for me. I am planning on marring this cat, so I might as well embrace his reality. Make it part of mines...
BUT then this is were my analytical-self comes in... When will my reality be made his, as well??? The only thing that I can possibly ask of him, would be to attend or participate with my Activities with the girls.
He offered to join in on the volunteer activity that we had scheduled for this past sunday. We had to cancel the activity because of my irresponsibility's. But never the less, I don't want him to be feel like he HAS to come with me, like paying me back for helping him.
I toke Alex with me to a wedding the sunday of the 2nd, he met Keas... I will admit I was avoiding that. But I had to face the music. He answered every question with totally the opposite of what keas wanted to hear. No big... He, nor I, live for Keas' expectations.
Gods' alone.
I wrote to keas about Him the other day, still no word back, but I know that he's going back and forth with camps.
I'm really down about me not going to camp. I've never gone... Every one says its oodles' of fun. I needed to go.
I didn't get to give My Soul Sister a doll. I fell asleep when I got back from the comp with alex. I feel terrible that I didn't follow through.
SO I guess it's the "no carb." kicking in. I'm pooped! I see my clavicle, tons more defined. <3 But I need to stay carb-less. I will be skinny right on time!!!
Daddy says I've lost weight too.
HEART!!!
I want to be like transparent, almost. So pretty.
And my long legs... they would be AMAZING! as twigs.
I want a new occupation. I feel that me not doing anything is making me comfortable in my skin when I shouldn't be... at least in that aspect. PLUS they are taxing HARD for parking... $115 for June alone. Get out of here. I'm paying to work for THEM. not cool.
enough said on that topic.
praying for consistency. Change. & a Challenge.
Toodles.
Anyhow, I had a "hands-on" experience, this past weekend which brought my vain and vanity to it's humbling point. Why have I always allowed my self to be... NOT skinny? I've always wanted to be model skinny, and I've always settled with me being average. REALITY check... The guy that has fallen in love with me & vis versa, has the bod of a god! & Me... Ugh! Not cool. That will change.
So I went to his Comp this past weekend, My goodness is he Hot like Fire. And to be honest with you... I will settle for "average", no longer. I have a bet with a mutual friend of ours, on me being able to lose 20 pounds in 2 months. I so can do it. I just can't cheat... and I have to work out. But not just work out... but WORK OUT HARD.
I know I can do it... I did it when I was with "what's his face". Plus, this has to be like a way of life for me. I am planning on marring this cat, so I might as well embrace his reality. Make it part of mines...
BUT then this is were my analytical-self comes in... When will my reality be made his, as well??? The only thing that I can possibly ask of him, would be to attend or participate with my Activities with the girls.
He offered to join in on the volunteer activity that we had scheduled for this past sunday. We had to cancel the activity because of my irresponsibility's. But never the less, I don't want him to be feel like he HAS to come with me, like paying me back for helping him.
I toke Alex with me to a wedding the sunday of the 2nd, he met Keas... I will admit I was avoiding that. But I had to face the music. He answered every question with totally the opposite of what keas wanted to hear. No big... He, nor I, live for Keas' expectations.
Gods' alone.
I wrote to keas about Him the other day, still no word back, but I know that he's going back and forth with camps.
I'm really down about me not going to camp. I've never gone... Every one says its oodles' of fun. I needed to go.
I didn't get to give My Soul Sister a doll. I fell asleep when I got back from the comp with alex. I feel terrible that I didn't follow through.
SO I guess it's the "no carb." kicking in. I'm pooped! I see my clavicle, tons more defined. <3 But I need to stay carb-less. I will be skinny right on time!!!
Daddy says I've lost weight too.
HEART!!!
I want to be like transparent, almost. So pretty.
And my long legs... they would be AMAZING! as twigs.
I want a new occupation. I feel that me not doing anything is making me comfortable in my skin when I shouldn't be... at least in that aspect. PLUS they are taxing HARD for parking... $115 for June alone. Get out of here. I'm paying to work for THEM. not cool.
enough said on that topic.
praying for consistency. Change. & a Challenge.
Toodles.