Where am i going what am I doing?

Jan 02, 2011 01:43

It looks like I'm fucked financially. I have no hours at work and I won't be able to pay my lawyer and probation when it starts.

What the fuck, just 2 months ago I was fine. Now I'm just a drunk. I feel so sad so mentally unstable, I'm not prepared for anything. How the hell am I gonna fix this? Its like I'm trying to fix a plane falling out of the sky.

Mmm, I don't know what to say. I had so much motivation, I thought I could do it all. I felt like my fixing of myself would catch some attention from Priscilla, I really like(ed) her. I don't understand, I... she... I don't believe I'm capable of liking anyone the way she or anyone else has; I feel dehumanized- I'm a lesser being due to my lack of emotion.

Why am I here? Why do I bother? I just want to give up. Reality is setting in, I don't think I'll get to be young, cool and with an education. I'm destined to forever be stuck living at home.

I just don't care what happens. I hope I die quickly and painessly, because I'm too much of a bitch to off myself.
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