(no subject)
so you lost your trust,
and you never should have
but don't break your back if you ever hear this
but don't answer that
cause in a bullet proof vest..
with the windows closed,
I'll be doing my time
And I'll see you soon.
See you Soon
I was sitting on a wall looking at trees I should have been drawing earlier this afternoon. The sun was shining and keeping me warm for a change, but somehow, it still wasn't enough to keep me from thinking about what still isnt right.
I'm starting to lose touch with the person who I was closest with this year, but at the same time, I wonder if thats such a bad thing? or at least, if its part of a natural process. I think so.
I either sit alone or with different people every night at dinner, and for a while I felt like I should care. But I don't. Being here, I have the opportunity to see people all the time, and even before this, I wasn't always attached at the hip with another person at all times. I'd like to have some kind of significant other, whether platonic or romantic, but it hasn't happened yet, so I guess thats just the way its supposed to be, I can't help that.
One of the largest parts of what I'm feeling is probably a large thing that everyone else is feeling, or has felt.. People want to feel validated by someone else again, and thats what your friends do for you. But once they're in a new envioronment like college, you have to rebuild something thats taken you years to do in the first place. I was suprised at how fast friendships and relationships of all kinds develop and decintigrate. Evrryone's reestablishing their borders and boundries. I guess I am too to an extent, but I guess being conscious of it either A.) makes me self conscious of the desire to cling fast and I avoid it or B.) I really am just a fairly solitary person and if someone really finds me intriguing and worthwhile, they'll invest their time in my company. Not many people have, but thats alright. I like being the person that approaches people and tries to start friendships, its on my own terms.
But right now, I wish I had more people that I felt like I had real connections with.
Whatever.
and you never should have
but don't break your back if you ever hear this
but don't answer that
cause in a bullet proof vest..
with the windows closed,
I'll be doing my time
And I'll see you soon.
See you Soon
I was sitting on a wall looking at trees I should have been drawing earlier this afternoon. The sun was shining and keeping me warm for a change, but somehow, it still wasn't enough to keep me from thinking about what still isnt right.
I'm starting to lose touch with the person who I was closest with this year, but at the same time, I wonder if thats such a bad thing? or at least, if its part of a natural process. I think so.
I either sit alone or with different people every night at dinner, and for a while I felt like I should care. But I don't. Being here, I have the opportunity to see people all the time, and even before this, I wasn't always attached at the hip with another person at all times. I'd like to have some kind of significant other, whether platonic or romantic, but it hasn't happened yet, so I guess thats just the way its supposed to be, I can't help that.
One of the largest parts of what I'm feeling is probably a large thing that everyone else is feeling, or has felt.. People want to feel validated by someone else again, and thats what your friends do for you. But once they're in a new envioronment like college, you have to rebuild something thats taken you years to do in the first place. I was suprised at how fast friendships and relationships of all kinds develop and decintigrate. Evrryone's reestablishing their borders and boundries. I guess I am too to an extent, but I guess being conscious of it either A.) makes me self conscious of the desire to cling fast and I avoid it or B.) I really am just a fairly solitary person and if someone really finds me intriguing and worthwhile, they'll invest their time in my company. Not many people have, but thats alright. I like being the person that approaches people and tries to start friendships, its on my own terms.
But right now, I wish I had more people that I felt like I had real connections with.
Whatever.