(no subject)

[00yram]

i am having a
very,
very,
very,
very, very, very
difficult time
concentrating.
i can't do this.
my mind is elsewhere.
i feel like i should be elsewhere.
like for example:
not in high school.
with children who are still 14 and 15.
it's really difficult being accepted to 4 colleges,
but still not knowing where i'm going/living.
it kind of defeats the purpose of being accepted,
because in reality, for me right now, it means nothing.

but then i really think about it.
wherever i do end up,
am i ready?
am i smart enough?
am i old enough?
am i good enough?
i'm so confused right now.
and contradicting myself.
i feel like i'm going to explode.