today sucks really bigtime
what a shit days I had. It goes from a little bad too much worse which is now.
2 days ago(sligtly irritating): all my trials to make my 2 sims boys happy failed... even with the kaching trick (which gives you money).... the interests trick failed too, it made the programm crash. Does anyone know how to change your sims personality and life wish after youve created them? Only the mom is happy.
yesterday: I am having panic attacks again.... I skipped ADND* because of it and flipped so hard I got out of the train and walked around shiphol airport to get calmer (which only worked partially, I still flipped)
today: I went for a long walk but I still flip..grrr... feel so nervous... panicky... confused... Don't know whats up and down again... doubting everything I do and think... even the simplest things which are so normal in life.. aaaargh I hate that! My mood fips every five or ten minutes, it drives me crazy!
I wonder if it is because my medication is too high or because my mucles are tingling and tense again (which is from the disease). If I do too much (which in my case isn't very much) it makes me flip mentally.
I feel sick and tired of not beeing able to do what I want, not going too school, and especially not having a boyfriend at the moment!! I really long for a cute guy to put his arms around me and comfort me now :(
Its just that the same mental complaints I have which he would be comforting me for are the ones which make it impossible for me to have one :S:S
Oh and I flipped at my last consult with the doctor too. He must think I'm really crazy, which I can't deny at the moment. I also had slept only four hours the night before. This whole week is shit! I realy hate everything now!
For those who are wondering whats wrong with me I have hasimotos disease**, which is an auto immune disease in which your body kills of your own thyroid. Unfortunately I have had it for more that ten years for sure (probably my whole life) and never have been treated. That's why my complaints are so heavy and weird now. Now I'm taking thyroid hormones, which has improved my somewhat but I'm afraid it will take quite some longer to get better. Especially adjusting the dose which is very important. Too litte thyroid hormones leave me ill and cold, heavily fatigued, with muscle pains, obstipation etc (dont forget mentally slow, depressed or supernervous, with useless moodswings all the time) Too much is not ok either, it makes you feel overheated, sweat a lot, makes your fingers shake and makes your nervous and confused too.
So I'm still busy with that as you can read.
Aargh and I really want a nice date right now but not after having talked with a boy for only half an hour at MSN which is when they usually ask. (which is one of my other frustrations, I am not able to go out and meet guys which is a hell of a lot easier than on the internet)
So today, realy really sucks. And now I'm gonna try cleainig out my kitchen because I'm gonna buy a dishwasher. I am afraid that will go wrong too :S
* ADND = advanced dungeions and dragons, not the hyperactive thing
** if you wanna know more about my disease read http://fibrohypo.cjb.net
*** I am not always so weird, to se me happier read on down here:
2 days ago(sligtly irritating): all my trials to make my 2 sims boys happy failed... even with the kaching trick (which gives you money).... the interests trick failed too, it made the programm crash. Does anyone know how to change your sims personality and life wish after youve created them? Only the mom is happy.
yesterday: I am having panic attacks again.... I skipped ADND* because of it and flipped so hard I got out of the train and walked around shiphol airport to get calmer (which only worked partially, I still flipped)
today: I went for a long walk but I still flip..grrr... feel so nervous... panicky... confused... Don't know whats up and down again... doubting everything I do and think... even the simplest things which are so normal in life.. aaaargh I hate that! My mood fips every five or ten minutes, it drives me crazy!
I wonder if it is because my medication is too high or because my mucles are tingling and tense again (which is from the disease). If I do too much (which in my case isn't very much) it makes me flip mentally.
I feel sick and tired of not beeing able to do what I want, not going too school, and especially not having a boyfriend at the moment!! I really long for a cute guy to put his arms around me and comfort me now :(
Its just that the same mental complaints I have which he would be comforting me for are the ones which make it impossible for me to have one :S:S
Oh and I flipped at my last consult with the doctor too. He must think I'm really crazy, which I can't deny at the moment. I also had slept only four hours the night before. This whole week is shit! I realy hate everything now!
For those who are wondering whats wrong with me I have hasimotos disease**, which is an auto immune disease in which your body kills of your own thyroid. Unfortunately I have had it for more that ten years for sure (probably my whole life) and never have been treated. That's why my complaints are so heavy and weird now. Now I'm taking thyroid hormones, which has improved my somewhat but I'm afraid it will take quite some longer to get better. Especially adjusting the dose which is very important. Too litte thyroid hormones leave me ill and cold, heavily fatigued, with muscle pains, obstipation etc (dont forget mentally slow, depressed or supernervous, with useless moodswings all the time) Too much is not ok either, it makes you feel overheated, sweat a lot, makes your fingers shake and makes your nervous and confused too.
So I'm still busy with that as you can read.
Aargh and I really want a nice date right now but not after having talked with a boy for only half an hour at MSN which is when they usually ask. (which is one of my other frustrations, I am not able to go out and meet guys which is a hell of a lot easier than on the internet)
So today, realy really sucks. And now I'm gonna try cleainig out my kitchen because I'm gonna buy a dishwasher. I am afraid that will go wrong too :S
* ADND = advanced dungeions and dragons, not the hyperactive thing
** if you wanna know more about my disease read http://fibrohypo.cjb.net
*** I am not always so weird, to se me happier read on down here: