(no subject)
The other day when L was here I showed her some pics that are on FB. One of them was a pic of me from 2002. She said "Wow, you were so thin there!" and I said, "Yeah, and in that pic I weighed (at least) 180 pounds."
It's so strange how pictures of me 50-60 pounds overweight look "thin" in comparison to the way I have looked for the last two years. It will be interesting to see how my body continues to change as I drop weight. It's weird how it's changing: I realized a few days ago that my eyes look bigger. It hadn't occurred to me that they would. The bridge of my nose is also more defined, and the line of my jaw is also emerging. My pointy chin is suddenly visible again. My neck and shoulders are more graceful. The stomach is going, but very slowly. Xmas eve I woke up and stretched my legs and realized that my calves look significantly smaller. My butt is getting smaller. The only place I don't see much of a difference is in my back; I wonder if back fat is the last to go?
Hypothyroid doesn't just cause weight gain: it causes weight gain in specific places, like the face and the abdomen. I never had a big stomach or a round face before the "hypo crash" of 2007. The big stomach was uncomfortable both physically and psychologically, and I fear has permanently damaged my body. The round face just looked wrong and not like myself.
When I was thin, I used to think my face too narrow, and I would use makeup to make my cheeks look broader. I suppose I'll return to that at some point. I'm also not pleased about loose skin and the probability that I will need expensive, painful surgery to get rid of it. I don't think I ever want to be 120 pounds again- I'd be happy at a more muscular 130-140.
But I love the fact that I can move more easily now; that big stomach cost me a lot of comfort and flexibility in terms of plain movement. I can see my own face emerging in the mirror.
This year more pictures were taken of me than of any year in the past ten, and they provide a sort of timeline of my emerging face. I should put them up here to illustrate.
It's so strange how pictures of me 50-60 pounds overweight look "thin" in comparison to the way I have looked for the last two years. It will be interesting to see how my body continues to change as I drop weight. It's weird how it's changing: I realized a few days ago that my eyes look bigger. It hadn't occurred to me that they would. The bridge of my nose is also more defined, and the line of my jaw is also emerging. My pointy chin is suddenly visible again. My neck and shoulders are more graceful. The stomach is going, but very slowly. Xmas eve I woke up and stretched my legs and realized that my calves look significantly smaller. My butt is getting smaller. The only place I don't see much of a difference is in my back; I wonder if back fat is the last to go?
Hypothyroid doesn't just cause weight gain: it causes weight gain in specific places, like the face and the abdomen. I never had a big stomach or a round face before the "hypo crash" of 2007. The big stomach was uncomfortable both physically and psychologically, and I fear has permanently damaged my body. The round face just looked wrong and not like myself.
When I was thin, I used to think my face too narrow, and I would use makeup to make my cheeks look broader. I suppose I'll return to that at some point. I'm also not pleased about loose skin and the probability that I will need expensive, painful surgery to get rid of it. I don't think I ever want to be 120 pounds again- I'd be happy at a more muscular 130-140.
But I love the fact that I can move more easily now; that big stomach cost me a lot of comfort and flexibility in terms of plain movement. I can see my own face emerging in the mirror.
This year more pictures were taken of me than of any year in the past ten, and they provide a sort of timeline of my emerging face. I should put them up here to illustrate.